'Better to ask for forgiveness than permission...'

You don't even want to know how many times I've heard that phrase. At first I still thought it was funny. 


And then it happened to me. I was the one being asked for forgiveness. 


And it happened again. And again. And again. 


And I have to forgive. That's what Jesus calls us to. 


But I hated that I was being walked all over. There was no respect, no working things out. It felt like people were just using me to get where they wanted to be. And there was nothing I could do. 


I really wanted to lash out and sometimes I did. But in general I held back, because... 'hurt people hurt people'. 


I agree that there are times when that general principle happens. But shouldn’t it be an accident, rather than planned? If you know you will have to ask for forgiveness later, doesn’t that mean you’re KNOWINGLY sinning?


So I better remember that before I just jump on the train, forget about my convictions and do the same thing just to get where I want to be. 


Because let's face it: I WANT to do the same thing. It's easy, it's a short cut and others should forgive me, right? 


But God's shown me that it's not right. Not for me. 


Ugh.