So the other day..

I saw something and it broke my heart.
Every now and then I deal with celebrities. Not super famous ones, but yet famous in their world. And a little while ago I was at an event with a couple.
The guy is the one that's fairly famous, but everybody knows they come together. They have been married forever and she's definitely a leader in her own right. But because he's the 'famous' one, she gets to 'sit in the back'.

It wasn't a big event and he only spoke for a couple of minutes. But during this time I saw her disappear into the back and watch from there.
When people asked to take photos she would step out of the photo, because people just wanted a picture with him.
She didn't get to say anything, probably because nobody really asked her to.

It broke my heart. This is one cool lady and I was super happy that she was there. But I couldn't believe what we had done. And really, what we are doing.

Now don't get me wrong, I definitely struggle with people who are just riding on their husband's or wife's celebrity status. I feel that we all have something to give and I want to see you make the effort.
But it can't be that we just about ignore the spouse who just happens to be 'less famous'. It can't be that they are invisible to us.

We all are humans. And we all deserve respect and deserve to not be forgotten or invisible. So the next time you're at an event and the spouse is out of the picture, invite them back into the picture! They deserve to be there!

If you know me and like me...

Last week I was hanging out with a couple friends and some dude walked in. Now, I knew that dude and had spent some time together with that dude. Which meant I knew that he's really fun to hang out with, but that's about it. 

After said dude left both my friends got all weird and talked about 'sparks flying' and that 'he likes me'. 

I was ready to rip their heads off! (for realz)

I guess I get it! These friends are super happy with their significant others and want that same deal for me. 

BUT....

Just because some dude in the right age group walks in who appears to be single is NO reason to go all gaga over this.

And I am serious in this matter. 

I LOVE JESUS! And I don't want to be together with a dud who doesn't. So the next time you're around me and some dude walks in, would you PLEASE ask the most important question:

Does he like Jesus? Will that dude lead you closer to Jesus? 

And if I go 'Uhm, yeah, well... I think so' please do something! Because that is a crappy response. And I probably know deep inside that he's a dud. So do something! Get me out of there! 

And please know that I am actually happy in my current state of being. I'm totally ok with it. Jesus and me have talked about this. Extensively. We are cool! 

Thanks! Now keep being an awesome friend. 

Men's prison... For the first time.

In September 2011 I joined God Behind Bars with the plan to reach youth for God. It's a very general plan, but since I had never worked in prisons before it was probably a good thing it was so general.

We are talking youth in prison or youth who have a parent in prison and need a little help staying out (statistically they are 84% more likely to end up in 'the system' themselves)

So I worked towards that goal:
* Once a month I joined another group that already goes into a youth prison
* Once a week I go to a youth court and offer services as a mentor for youth that is in trouble.
* And once a week I share the God Behind Bars youth version at the jail, hanging with 16 and 17 year old's

Those youths in the jail are being treated as adults before the law and some of them will be sentenced to prison.

Since the beginning of December now I am able to 'follow' these youths to prison and continue to share with them about Jesus! It's one of the most exciting things ever!

In jail they have nothing to do and are quite happy to come to my program. But in prison this 'church thing' is part of their free time. And so far I still had more than half the unit show up to our program every week!

Would you pray with me...?

* Some of the youths in jail and also in prison are only there for a short time. I keep on telling them to find me at church, but they are unsure of church and other Christians. Pray that they come and we can help them on the outside.

* Some of them want to help their families. But they have some really crappy ideas that will get them right back into jail. Pray that they can find a legal job!

* The most repeated question I get is 'Can Jesus fix murder'. And while I have the best answer ever, it takes a while for that truth to settle. Pray for them to find Christ and be radically changed on the inside

* And a prayer request for myself: I need lots of prayer, clarity and strength! I love what I do, but you can never relax when you're inside. Also, a practical request: The prison is outside town and adds 100 miles weekly. That's a bunch more on my car, but also my gas money budget. Pray that God would provide for me!! :)

Why it sucks to be a single girl in this modern world

I'm a girl. I'm single. And I'm a leader. 

And those 3 things combined are frustrating. 

I want to learn; I want to be mentored, discipled and led to places that I have not been before, so that I can lead others there.

What's your big deal you ask? Well... I'm a single girl and a leader and I'm in the Christian world. 

I'm very much surrounded by great leaders. Some of them are women and some of them are men. The problem for me is, that a lot of the leaders who are where I would like to be, are men.

Men in the Christian world have set up boundaries. They are there for their safety and the safety of their families (and those boundaries SHOULD be in place).

But those boundaries also mean that men won't spend any one-on-one time with me. I will not ever be invited to go along on a business trip to get mentored and even going to a conference is hard, unless there's more than one girl going.

Those boundaries are important for the leader who set them up, but they don't really serve me. (and they are not designed to!)

And of course the boundaries are also there, because someone of my gender has messed up before and now even driving in a car together can look sketchy.

All good reasons, but I can't stop feeling like 

I'm getting punished for something I didn't do!

And please understand that I don't want the boundaries removed! I'm a big fan of boundaries, marriages and kids growing up in one house with 2 parents. I don't want to EVER jeopardize that.

But I want to start a conversation and see if others have run into this. And how did you solve it? (I'm interested to hear from everyone, but especially from single women in leadership... It can't be, that the solution to this would be marriage!)

Oh, but what about getting mentored and discipled by women leaders, you say? Well, what a quaint idea... That would be splendid. But a lot of women leaders in my world are leading... Well, women specific stuff.

There are women in leadership who help women through marriage and family stuff. Or women who are struggling to find their own identity, because their husband is some big wig leader.

I just don't have (those kind) of identity issues. I just want to know how to lead a group of people (guys and girls), how to run an organisation, how to be more strategic and how to network. 

There's no real solution to this problem. But it's surprising how in this modern world, where people pretend that guys and girls are equal, I find myself stuck. That whole equality stuff is a bunch of bogus it seems. 

What am I going to do? I think I will look outside of my Christian world to see if I can find women leaders who are already doing what I want to do. And I will somehow try to creep make a way into their world and figure things out.

And yes, I will continue to read books, listen to podcasts and hang out as much as I can - without jeopardizing anyone's family - with people that inspire me to be a better leader.

Have you run into any of those problems before? And what were your solutions? And do you know any single women in leadership that I should try and connect with?

Oh, and if anybody has connections with Angela Merkel, let me know! That would be a fascinating conversation. :)

Journey vs Trip. Some deep and meaningful stuff here!

The other days I heard an interview with a well-known Christian speaker and in the course of about 5 minutes he used the word 'journey' about 6 times. Talk about overusing a word.

And it dawned on me that in this time 'journey is the new 'in' word for Christian leaders. If you listen to a bunch of Christian leaders you will find that they never go on a trip - they start a journey.

Of course I tweeted that, because it was too obvious and too funny not to. But then I thought that maybe, just maybe, these Christian leaders use the word 'journey' for a reason. Because one hopes that leaders are not just following other leaders blindly in saying and doing stuff just because it sounds 'good' or is the 'in' thing to do. One hopes that leaders influence the people and the culture around them, rather than being influenced by the people and the culture themselves.
So I looked up the words 'journey' and 'trip'.

And as it turns out, those Christian leaders are actually on to something: While a trip is mereley going to a place and returning, a journey is an act of traveling from one place to another.

Well, who knew? (A bunch of Christian leaders obviously...) So of course it makes sense that Christian leaders (and the rest of us God fearing folks) are going on journeys. Because who wants to return to where they started?

And it also makes sense that a 'trip' is often used to describe a drug experience, because once you go on a trip, you get back and you're at exactly the same place where you started. Nothing has changed and you will have to go on a 'trip' again to escape your circumstances. A trips is just an escape of circumstances, rather than a real change in life.

A journey on the other hand takes you into a new environment, a new place. And a journey also suggests that you're not going back - you have left for good.
A journey doesn't automatically mean you're going to love every place you go to. Some of those places are going to be hard and you won't like them. But they are necessary stops on the way and soon enough you will be on your way again. You are not stuck.

This is a very interesting concept to me! You go Christian Leaders! Good on ya for understanding the difference between a trip and a journey! Now if we could only work on not making it sound so cheesy..........

Write a parable ... I dare you!

I've been reading through Mark 4 lately and have been quite inspired by the different parables Jesus was speaking about. I mean, that guy was good at relating the point he wanted to make to where his audience was at.

So I thought, I should try and rewrite some of these parables to make the same point as Jesus, but to make me understand it better and write as if I am talking to someone right now. Here.

So here you go. This is my updated version of the parable of the sower in Mark 4.

The kingdom of God is like recording a song and putting it on itunes for sale. Many people will look at it and then move right on because they’ve never heard of the artist before.
Then there are those who click on it and listen to the preview of the song. They think it’s ok, but not good enough to spend $1.29 on it.
Then some other people will listen to the song and download it. But then something else catches their attention and the song gets buried on their ipod and is maybe played twice in the year.
Still others buy the song, put it on their ipod and play it repeatedly. They don’t just know the words to that song, but have fallen in love with the artist as well. 

What do you think?

And I would LOVE to read your parables as well! Pick one, write one, send one. (jackiegotmail (at) gmail (dot) com)

the truth about camp or how awesome is cottage cheese?

I went to camp:

• My feet smelled BAD once released from the confines of the sneakers.  
• I ate cottage cheese. every. single. day. 
• I met a bunch of new people (80% of them were junior high age. Seeing as this was a junior high camp with 450+ junior high students, this is ok!)
• I waved my amazing YELLOW blow up 'foam' finger.... (and consequently lost it. Note to self: Do not lend foam fingers to junior high boys)
• I had a mohawk for 'mohawk day'. 
• I spent half a day on the ground waiting for someone to rescue me, because someone had the great idea to have 'attack day' where everybody shoots (pretend) blow darts at you and I just plain out suck at that game and got hit a lot.
• I got wet while kayaking, coz I didn't want to sit in the back. Instead I sat in the middle and almost SUNK the freaking boat. Not a boost for self esteem, but funny nevertheless. 
• I slept in a cabin and was surrounded by lots of dirt, rocks and trees. Some would call it beautiful. I call it nature. 
• I was part of the yellow team. We didn't win. 

It sounds ok, doesn't it? Not great (apart from the cottage cheese) but just ok...

But then you add the God factor. The God factor happens when you present these 450+ junior high students with truth.
The truth about self esteem and what they might see in the mirror (ugly, fat, etc) and how God sees them (beautiful, created with love).
The truth about not having to do everything on your own. Giving up the struggle and trusting God to take it. Surrendering things like drug use or addiction, family problems, peer pressure, alcoholism and more completely to God. (yes, those are all real problems junior high kids struggle with. I suggest you start talking with your kid!)
And the truth about community. The answer to the question of what comes after camp? What happens when I fall back? What happens when I get abused again? 

When you add the God factor to camp it takes camp from ok to mind blowingly great. It makes cottage cheese fade into the background and helps me see the students for who they are. And it gives me hope for this next generation. They can change the world. They will tell others about Jesus. As long as I will tell them! 

Running the race... Forward

As a small group we have been going through a study called 'A Life worth watching' by Central Christian/Jud Wilhite. You can check it out here. (Which, by the way, those prices are for reals people!)

Anyway, this week's key verse was Philippians 3:14: 'I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.'

It talked about going towards something. But it also talked about leaving your past behind. Whenever I had heard about leaving your past behind I always whole heartedly agreed. Why wouldn't I want to leave all the crap behind... 

All the times I lied, cheated, offended? I would GLADLY leave them behind. 

But tonight this study challenged me to think further... 

'You can't move forward while looking backward. What's behind you is behind... ... Even the positive impact you have contributed is over. There is more work to be done, so hanging out in memory lane won't help you finish the course.'
In the video it said 'Yesterday ended last night' (or something like that! :) 

So in order to move forward I don't just have to let go of the stuff I LIKE letting go off. The crap stuff. 

But I also have to move on from the positive impact I've had. It's great that I've been part of the lives of many people; leading them to Christ, discipling them, teaching them or just telling them about Jesus. Some of those are amazing stories, but there is new work, new challenges, new things for me to do in order to finish this race. 

Still has me puzzled. In a good way. 

What do you think?

Seriously??

The other day I had the following conversation:

Me: yeah, I'm from Germany
DB: really? Where from.
Me: About 2 hours west of Berlin
DB: What city?
Me: Hannover.
DB: Wow. Cool. I was in Germany last year.
Me: Really? Where at?
DB: At Frankfurt. At the airport for 2 hours
Me: ...

Seriously dude? After all that come up with something better than '2 hours of Frankfurt Airport'. And just for your information: It doesn't count as having been IN Germany if you didn't leave the airport.
So there you have it. Next time stop with these ridiculous questions.
Oh, and saying that 'you've been invited to a Christian conference to an undisclosed location in North Africa' might impress some people. But not me. So just shut up, will ya?

OK, done with my rant. But it really had to be said.

Thankful

Last night I had a bit of a crisis and tweeted 'Officially freaking out about the Germany trip'. After a bit of back and forth, where I explained a little as to why and what it boils down to (It's really a trust in God issue), I got this tweet back:

@jackie_doyle: Maybe time to remember how many times He's come through for you in times past. That's   what I do when faced with something big...

Sometimes I have the best friends ever, even though I haven't met them.
Since I am QUITE aware that I could be working on a list of ALL God has done and provided for me for months, I figured I would just limit myself to this year: 2012
In no particular order:

Had my car fixed in January ($400+)
Still very thankful for said car, which was a complete gift of God
Paid my taxes. On time.
Got my gas tank filled in April THREE times for free. (I have one supporter who fills it twice a month, which is SO awesome. But the third time was a HUGE blessing and bonus)
I got to go to kINdSOMNIA. Love that my church is able to offer going to those kind of events for free for leaders. It's really nice.
Finally used my Christmas Groupon bucks and booked a yoga experience I really liked. Not enough to become a member, but at least it wasn't scary.
Right now I love my Groupon place where I can swim and lounge at the pool. Although their sales technique sucked.
I finished my blanket. (I crocheted it and it took almost 6 months to finish and many, many skeins of yarn. An estimate in cost is about $75 for the blanket... It's REALLY big. And I couldn't tell you how many skeins I used, because I buy them one by one.)
My phone is completely 100% sponsored which is HUGE!!! (Not the phone - the blessing!)
More than a month ago I started going into the youth unit at the jail and I LOVE it.
LOVE my friends and all the crazy stuff we do together

Looking at this list definitely helps me see how much God is for me and not against me. And this is just a 5 minute brainstorm of what God has done in the last 4 months.

Thankful....

The High Pressure Sales Pitch

Do you do that as well? You buy a groupon with the best intentions to use it, but then you forget and you keep forgetting and then it's almost too late... 

Well, I found one of those and decided to get signed up. It was a groupon for a 14 pass snazzy gym membership. I should probably leave out the 'snazzy', but well, it is snazzy. 

I knew they would try and sell me on their normal membership and was prepared for that. It happens at most fitness groupon places I have tried so far. 

So here I am, waiting for the pitch. the sales guy (who's forearms are seriously the size my thighs - and that means something. (His are muscles!) is taking me for a tour. It's an impressive place with indoor/outdoor pool, basketball court, raquetball and squash court, all kinds of classes and or course the normal weight and cardio sections. 

Then we sit down for the pitch. Throughout the tour I was asking lots of questions, coz I figure, 'hey I paid my groupon and am allowed to use whatever the groupon states I can use. So I'm gonna use it! Lots. So explain sales person.'

He might have thought we've become friends or something. I don't know. 

The sales pitch is a 20 minute affair and let me just document for you the last 7 minutes. (I'm writing down my thoughts in blue)

Forearm guy: So it's $80 if you do month to month. I'm gonna give you June for free, credit the $29 from your groupon and you can cancel it whenever you want to.
Me: I don't know... *I think your math is off Dude. It's $51.*
Forearm guy: You'd only be paying $30!!! For 3 Months!! that's incredible!
Me: How easy is it to cancel? *ugh, I hate cancelling stuff. It's never easy.*
Forearm guy: Real easy
Me: How easy?
Forearm guy: You just fill out one of our cancellation forms. *yeah right!* (Turns out it's a full page long)
Me: .... Hmmm I don't think I can actually afford this right now. *Just paid my taxes, wanna go to Germany, wanna eat... Shouldn't do this. Just wait for the next groupon!*
Forearm guy: I can't guarantee this offer for very long.
Me: ... *Dude, you said it's the April offer. I have til NEXT week to make a decision!!!*

Forearm guy gets out the calculator to use visual aids to help me understand how amazing this offer is. Only thing that happened was that he realised that his math was in fact off and that it's $51 and not $30. Ha!

Forearm guy: Come on. $51!!! That's nothing. *For you that might be nothing. For me that's a week of gas in the tank, part of my rent or food money. It is NOT nothing!!*
Me: Weeeellll.... (I was really thinking about it at this point. It IS a good offer.... But then I made the decision.) You know what, NO, I can't do it right now. I will just do the Groupon for now and think about this offer.
Forearm guy: I can't guarantee this offer... *yeah yeah yeah. You never can. Let me go now!*
Forearm guy: Are you sure???
Me: yes *can I go now? I just wanna go.*
Forearm guy: OK. (then he stood up and walked away as if he was mad at me. Thing was I still need to get the pass for the groupon, but he'd decided he was done with me.

Sales pitches are never fun and I certainly appreciate it far more when you let your product talk for you. My last groupon stint was with a yoga place that I absolutely fell in love with. Not only did they leave me alone with sales pitches, but they played normal music (and not always this yoga ping ping music), put the lights on (and didn't have it dimmer ALL the time), talked with their normal voice (and not the usual soft yoga voice) and they had the best bathroom/lockers with towel service, showers (that include shampoo etc), blow dryer (the ones you'd use at home) and the staff was super friendly. That place was awesome. If you're in Vegas you should check it out http://www.bodyheatyoga.com/ 

This place I am at right now is also very impressive and has great bathrooms/showers/locker rooms (it's just an important thing, ok?), but the high pressure sales pitch left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. And so I won't link to them coz they don't yet deserve it. :) 

I wish I could live my life without the sales pitches. It would be so much easier, but you find them all the time. Most girls have been to the Tupperware type 'parties'. Why do they still call them parties? There's no party, just a friend trying to sucker a group of friends into buying crap they didn't think they needed or wanted. Obviously that concept is still working. I don't understand why though? Maybe it's because most people buy something because it's their friend selling something. So it's a pity buy. 

What do you think of sales pitches and how do you deal with them?

The last 15 minutes (5)

This would be the Duke and me. We hang out. We are friends. Or so I make myself believe. :)


If given the chance I would probably take his job at least for a day. I mean, when can you sit on someone and not get complaints... (Not that I have the desire to randomly sit on people - well, maybe I do... Sometimes)


So I thought I'd take the chance today to explain 'The Last 15 Minutes'.


It's nothing special really. Except a way for me to be more faithful in communicating what I am up to. In 15 minutes I will put down the things I did, thought about or am embarrassed about (there's such a GOOD story, but I need a few more weeks until I'm ready to share that one). 


There's only so much I can type in 15 minutes, so it's bound to be somewhat short. 


And it's during the last 15  minutes of my day. (hence the 'LAST 15 minutes). I'm pretty much about to go to bed. And I like sleep. Another sneaky way for me to keep it short. 


Except today. Coz there's a midnight hockey game and I didn't want to write this at 4 in the morning. 


Oh, and it's not gonna happen EVERY day. I don't want to script things just because my life is not interesting enough.


Gotta go, my 15 minutes are over. 

The last 15 minutes (4)

Today my wardrobe got criticized as boring. It almost hurt me. But only almost.
My wardrobe is not boring. Only when I'm inside. Most of my 'dress for success' pants and tops are devoid of colour and I don't see a reason to change that.
My outside wardrobe has enough colour to last me to the 80's and back.
So that's why I was only almost hurt. It doesn't matter, you know. It doesn't matter what people think in general. I'm still learning that


In other news... I've been giving out my work email to potential volunteers a lot. I'm not just handing it out - these people said they are interested in volunteering. 
The result? I am now on at least TWO email lists that want me to buy stuff. What are people thinking? That is NOT good business practice.
So if you're one of my potential volunteers, lets keep it about volunteering. And maybe, just maybe, wayyyyyyy in the future, when we might have become friends, you can feel the freedom to put me on your email list. 


And by the way, who here still does forwards??? Isn't that soooo 90's?


More later. My 15 minutes are over.

Economically challenged...

The coffee shop was almost empty, but he was still there. What are the odds of running into the same person over and over again?

Last week I met him at the restaurant, the week before he happened to be at my house, and the week before that, someone had invited him to come to my birthday party. It's not that I minded having him there.

He was a really nice guy, with black unmanageable hair, tall and lanky and forever wearing jeans. He had the best deep voice ever which made listening to him actually fun. It was always nice to talk with him, figure out what his take is on stuff. He seems to really care about everything that's going on. It's a little freaky at times. But it's also what makes him approachable and fun.

As I was walking into the coffee shop I stopped at his table and chatted for a minute.'What's going on with you' he asked. 'Nothing much' I replied, the standard reply these days. 'Yeah right' he smiled.I went up front to get my coffee. With the coffee in hand I started to look for a good place to sit and just let the day go past. It had been one of those days and the only thing I wanted to do was to relax, drink coffee and not think about the stuff going on in my life.

There was a comfy chair open right next to him and I asked if he would mind if I sat there. He looked up from his computer, almost puzzled to still see me.
'Go ahead. I wish you would' he said and smiled.
Then he got right back into whatever he was doing on the computer.

I settled into my chair and took out my handy dandy journal. It helped me work through stuff if I wrote it down and for the next half hour I was furiously writing whatever came to my mind. The stuff with my family, my friends, disappointments with un-kept promises... It all seemed so messy.

After half an hour I looked up and found him looking at me. 'What?' I said almost irritated.
'You ok?' he asked. 'You seem sad. A lot going on right now eh?'
I sighed. 'Yeah. It all seems so messy and out of my control. I wish I could do stuff, but there's nothing. I tried.'
'I know how that feels' he said and I could only imagine.
In his position I would have probably given up. The fact that he was sitting here chatting with me was a miracle, considering I was sure that his computer probably demanded his attention ten times more.
Come to think of it, his phone had gone off at least 3 times since we started the chat and not once had he looked down to check who was calling or texting him. I remembered how much I hated it when my friend looked at his phone, rather than me in the middle of a conversation.I began to tell him more of the details of what was going on. He listened, looked at me and seemed so concerned for me. It felt good. My family was far away and a lot of my friends had so much going on, that I didn't want to bother them with my stuff as well. But I missed this. This feeling of being taken care of. The feeling that there is someone who listens.
Even though I was pretty sure nothing was going to change the situation right now. But he cared and that's all that counts.

We ended up talking for almost an hour. He never once looked at his phone or the computer, even though both were furiously ringing and dinging, demanding his attention. I had told him several times that he could take it if he needed to, but he insisted that he would get to it in due time.

I stood up to leave and we hugged. 'Hang in there girl. Don't give up. I'm with you in this, ok?' I smiled.
'I know, Jesus. Thank you. It's always good to talk to you. See ya around?!'


I was still smiling when I finally left the coffee shop. So glad I met him there.

The last 15 minutes (2)

My last 15 minutes (before I go to bed) from Valentines day 2012. 
Don't even know why I mention Valentines Day - It didn't matter today at all. 


Today I worked at the Media Arts Studio. That's the Studio God Behind Bars runs... well,... behind bars. We work with inmates, teach them skills like graphic design, video editing and stuff like that. Anything they could use when they get released. 


Days when I'm 'on the inside' are exhausting. I don't know why... Maybe it's because you always have to be alert. You are in fact in prison and there are rules you have to follow. And I don't even know half of them.


That's stressful. 


And I can't wear blue. So I call them my non blue days. 
Do you know how hard it is to not wear blue? 
Plus, God Behind Bars has a principle about that: Dress for Success. So I can't even get away with black jeans. 


It's not a big deal, except for the shoes. Let's face it: some sort of heel works best in this attire. But that is NOT comfy. Not all day. Not with most of my heels being a size too small (huge feet problem)


So yes, I'm whining about shoes. I know. First world problems. 




Tonight I hung out with Jesus. I like those times. Rediscovering grace again. Loving it! More later. My 15 minutes are over. :)

'Better to ask for forgiveness than permission...'

You don't even want to know how many times I've heard that phrase. At first I still thought it was funny. 


And then it happened to me. I was the one being asked for forgiveness. 


And it happened again. And again. And again. 


And I have to forgive. That's what Jesus calls us to. 


But I hated that I was being walked all over. There was no respect, no working things out. It felt like people were just using me to get where they wanted to be. And there was nothing I could do. 


I really wanted to lash out and sometimes I did. But in general I held back, because... 'hurt people hurt people'. 


I agree that there are times when that general principle happens. But shouldn’t it be an accident, rather than planned? If you know you will have to ask for forgiveness later, doesn’t that mean you’re KNOWINGLY sinning?


So I better remember that before I just jump on the train, forget about my convictions and do the same thing just to get where I want to be. 


Because let's face it: I WANT to do the same thing. It's easy, it's a short cut and others should forgive me, right? 


But God's shown me that it's not right. Not for me. 


Ugh. 

Grace

Grace is one of those things that I keep coming back to, am very thankful for and yet don't get it at all at times. 


A couple of days ago I read a blog post. it's one of those blogs all about giving people second chances and such. Really cool blog usually. 


But this time I noticed something. The story was about a hurtful comment that was made about a member of the family in a public restaurant.  


Except.....


It said something along the lines of 'What the heck? This lady whose kids were not even interacting with her and her husband was thinking she could make a comment about my family???'


I understand that the comment was mean. I also understand that you're defending your family and all. But to post something like that on a blog that is all about grace and giving people a break, I was taken a back. What about that lady? What about her family? What about giving her a second chance?


The saying 'hurt people hurt people' came true in this situation. Your family has been hurt and there you go lashing out at others. 


Been there, done that, got the t shirt. NOT proud of it.