Adoption vs guardianship

The other week I was very privileged to be present at an adoption. It was my first time and it was very memorable.
The main part of the 15 minute ceremony is a list of questions:

• Do you believe this is in the best interest of the child?
• Can you provide for the child?
• Are you aware that the child will have the same rights as any of your natural born children?....

That last question makes you think, doesn't it? When we talk about adoption it is permanent. There's no way out, you can't back out or change your mind.

This is it.....

Working with High Risk Students I sometimes wish that these questions would be asked of people wanting to become parents?

• Do you believe THIS family would be in the best interest of your future child?
• Can you actually provide for your future child?

I've just witnessed the devastation that guardianship can have in a child's life. It is NOT permanent and at any time the child might hear these words:

'I am done! I have wasted 15 years with him/her. He/She treats us like crap and doesn't respect our home at all. And on top of that He/She is not even my real kid. It's just a step kid. I AM DONE.'

The sad thing is, that I am not making this up. I heard those words come out of someone's mouth right in front of their child. His/Her security was gone that moment. What do you think went through her mind.

Guardianship is NOT permanent and I don't even know how this child will deal with what was said.

Looking at faith, I am SO glad that God adopted us as His children. It's permanent. He's stuck with us... It gives me security.

What are your thoughts?

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 4

We rode back into town and delivered Borthwick to the mechanic. He promptly pronounced him dead. The whole floor underneath the driver's seat and steering column had disappeared. Apparently Borthwick had a bit of a rust problem, so when we collided with the cow we left half the van in rust on the street.


The time in this town was interesting. The bad thing: no rental car company at all. The good thing: everybody knows everybody. So the cousin called his wife, who knew a friend who had a van and nothing to do that day. So he said he would take us the several hundred kilometer trip to Katherine.


You see, we kind of were scheduled to appear in church that day. Since that wasn't gonna happen, we cancelled that day's performance and said we'd definitely be there the next day in the morning. (This is generally known as a faith statement)


Couple things you might not have considered:

• We didn't really have much money
• Most of that non existent money went to the tow truck and our new van driver (who also had to drive several hundred kilometers back)
• Borthwick was dead and not really our car. It belonged to the YWAM base, which meant several phone calls with them just to sort that thing out right. Not like we wanted to come back to this town.
• We were 8 people with one piece of luggage each, plus guitar, plus camping gear for 8, plus food. I think the van we were taking to Katherine was maybe a 12 seater without a roof rack???

To read about the next part of the 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace' adventure check back tomorrow.

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 3

The first road train pulled Borthwick off the road. By then we had a closer look at what had happened. The horn of the cow had popped out the radio from behind and deposited it on the front seat. The front seat was EXACTLY the size of Lisa now. No wiggle room. If it'd been me, I would have been crushed a bit. All she got was a scratch. And you also couldn't move Borthwick anymore. You know, without the help of a road train.


The second road train that came by was going the right way. I'd also like to mention that this was in 1998. Cell phones were rare and well, we were in the middle of nowhere anyway. the next town was 70 kilometers away. Oh and road trains are not allowed to take passengers. So for all intents and purposes, we seemed pretty stuck.


But the second road train driver helped us out. He took Lisa on and drove her to the next town. (Looking back, maybe that was a bit scary, but at least we didn't send a student!)


I stayed back with the students, Borthwick and maybe 4 liters of water in the dessert with no way of knowing when she'd be back.


But she came back. With a towing truck. Let me tell you what she told us what happened. So they got to the town (still pretty early in the morning). They found someone who was awake, who then found the mayor/town leader, who's cousin owned the towing company and woke all these people up. And then she came back with the tow truck... Sounds easy? Well, maybe you should ask her for her side of the story!


We were just hanging out in our broken van, trying not to die. (Obviously we survived!)

The tow truck got Borthwick on the flatbed and then there was the question on how to get all of us back as well... Only one or two people would be allowed to ride up front in the tow truck... But the tow truck driver made another exception from something completely illegal and let us all ride INSIDE Borthwick on the back of the truck. One of those rides you wish you had photos of.




To read part 4 of 'Borthwick - May he rest in peace' come back tomorrow. 

A Story of Grace

I wish I could learn it...
The art of shutting up. Of not having an opinion and just going with the flow.

See, I was given a second chance. Nobody had to give me a second chance. But they did. 

I was in a situation where I felt super uncomfortable and didn't want to be there. Yet, I couldn't get out of it. And I became negative. Actually you can probably call it bitter and twisted. 
I was pretty lost in my misery, but I didn't think it really affected anybody else.
And then someone came and talked to me. Pretty bluntly.

'Hey, people are pretty much counting the days of when you're going to leave. Nobody wants to really be around you, because you're so negative.'

I broke down, because it hurt. But no matter how much it hurt, I also knew he was right and that I had a choice. I could sink deeper in my self pity and misery (because, let's face it: Life was treating me unfairly) or I could snap out of it, ask for forgiveness and when it comes time to leave, I actually leave with people I will miss and who might miss me. 

I am pretty proud to say that I did exactly that! I left with friends. People who genuinely like me, knew I had struggled, but forgave me for being (excuse the language) an ass. 

This is one of my stories of grace... Of second chances. Undeserved, yet given. 

Death to yoga, cats rule (Part 2)

Against my better judgment I totally went back to whacky yoga studio. By now I am thinking of how much money I could make if I could just sell the 'whack your belly' idea without cracking up laughing (Membership for a year is over $1000 at this place!)


This was the 'normal' yoga session. No vibration yoga, no intestine cleansing stuff... But the 'warm up' still consists of whacking your belly, counting to 10 and, if you're me, trying to not laugh out loud. 


The middle section wasn't so bad. It was stretching. just that these people believe in holding the pose for a minimum of 10 minutes, which means you only stretch 2 muscles. And it also means that I now understand the need for yoga pants (they don't have zippers or buttons that you might end up sitting/laying on). 


At one point she challenged us to do the 'washing machine'. You stand with your feet together and twist your hips. This goes on for about 5 minutes, after which you will probably feel a few things. Instructor person said that it's normal to feel a bit of pain in your kidney's, stomach or liver. 


So after this deal you get on the floor and are basically supposed to ram a piece of wood into the area where you felt pain and massage it! (Aehm, yeah... This makes sense...)


So I went along with it, but basically was going for a snooze....


Suddenly the iinstructor was just about on top of me and proceeded to show me what she meant. She took the wood thing and very 'gently' rammed it into my liver until it just about touched the ground (with the problem that there was still a bit of me in between the ground and the wood)


And then she asked how this felt!!!! I almost laughed out loud. I couldn't quite breathe right anymore, since half my insides had shifted and I wanted her OFF ME!! 


So I just said 'slightly painful'. She asked 'good eh??' 


ARE YOU CRAZY LADY??? You're pretty much turning my liver into ground meat and are sitting on top of me....


But I have learned my lesson... 


'Sure.. Sort of'


She finally let go and moved on...


I breathed again and continued to hold on to the laughter insider of me. 


Oh. My. Goodness. 


Nothing much else to say about this...


Except: Yoga instructors should use breath mints more frequently. 

'Death to Yoga, cats rule'

The title is actually stolen from a note that my friend sent me. I just really liked it and decided it kind of fits. 

So, yoga! I really had nothing against it and that is probably why I decided I should try the groupon thing and sign up for it. Well, that and the fact that I'm looking for alternatives to running, since I am still struggling with Plantar Fasciitis (look it up... it hurts!)

I think my problem is that I might have signed up for the whackiest yoga center available. 

My first session was a 'vibration class', which already sounded sketch, but I thought 'what the heck'. 

you walk into (of course) a tranquil environment with soft music and very nice, soft spoken people who to me just turn out to be annoying. Plus, with all their soft spokeness, my response usually is a repeated 'HUH???'. (And I don't do the soft spoken crap! Speak up Lady!)

After already being recruited for the next meditation seminar (online, for the bargain price of $200 - NO THANK YOU) you walk in and find a group standing in a circle SLAPPING THEIR BELLIES!!! 

I should have turned and ran right here! What was I thinking?? Nothing obviously! And that's apparently the point of yoga and thus I fit right in: 'Let your mind go...' (said in a soft spoken sing song voice that makes me want to throw stuff)

So for the first TEN minutes you stand in a circle and (no joke) hit your belly... Or what these guys call your 'Dahn Jo' aka your center.... I don't really know why you would repeatedly hit your 'center' but you do. It didn't do anything for me, except I wanted to laugh out loud SO bad. (I didn't! - points for self discipline)

They told me that the vibration class is all fun and stuff... So after the quite weird 'warm up' exercises you grab a mat (still don't know why) and then the yoga instructor (and instructor is quite the exaggeration!) puts on Asian Techno, dims the lights and tells us to dance... 'Not pretty dance, but crazy dance'. (That's a direct quote and that's the extend of the instructions)

So for the next TWENTY minutes that's what we do... Which is hard when you're trying not to crack up laughing. If this is yoga I could just go to a club! Ladies get in for free in most Vegas clubs and it'd be cheaper!!!

It was ridiculous. And no joke, that was the extend of the class. After the weird dance session you just lay on your back and breathe right (something that apparently I haven't mastered in my almost 37 years of life... Sucks to be me)

I took another class... Not vibration. Thinking maybe it was different. Well, it was.... But I save that for another blog post! 

As for 'Cats rule'... I tend to disagree, since our house cat has chosen my bed to crawl UNDERNEATH the covers... Something I despise! 

Gotye's 'Somebody I used to know' in different

This video has had me laughing for a week now. So I thought you should see it too! It's just for the fun of it! :)
(Non German speakers start it at around 45 seconds)

Black Friday Yearly Challenge (aka Black Friday Insanity)

The Black Friday insanity...
Every year I decide to do something stupid on Black Friday. When I talk about it before it doesn't sound so stupid. But during the execution it usually dawns on me that this indeed was stupid ... Again... Let me recap:

The beginning - still smiling

Year one: Climbing some hill at Red Rock. This was probably one of the more uneventful ones. I only about died 3 times by sliding down the hill (ROCKS) on my bottom...

Year two: Decided to do the same hill, but this time I got lost ON THE WAY DOWN... Who does that? How is that even possible. I spent some time sliding down the wrong side of the hill (ROCKS again) and climbing said wrong side again to try and find my way. Well, I'm typing this, so I found it...

Year three: Walk the 13 mile loop at Red Rock... Let's just say I made life harder than it had to be. Started too late, got bored by mile two, decided to try and find a short cut, which resulted in me getting lost in the bushes for a couple hours.

Found my way again and because I learn so well, decided to try another short cut which wasn't one and actually added about a mile to my endeavor.

Still all good during mile 2

Then it got dark when I was still 5 miles out from my car. I was freezing coz I hadn't packed a sweater and thirsty, coz I only took one water bottle. Battled for a mile with my pride and then asked some strangers for a 2 mile ride. They asked if I wanted more, but pride won and I walked back to my car in utter darkness. No fun.

Year four: Booooooring!  Not even worth the mention. Didn't die. Nothing happened.

Year five: This would be last week. Decided to try the loop again. This time for real. You know, start earlier, pack better, finish it. No short cuts....

Nice view eh?

Messing with the camera

Well, I got bored by mile 4 and started looking for a short cut, which I took by mile 6. This 'short cut', which of course got me lost again, took maybe a mile off the total. So not worth it.Plus I kept on running into weird cactussy plant things. Really not a fan of nature...

The final distance... 

Thought I should stick to the road. But I got bored. Then my feet started really hurting, because I'd kind been in denial about my plantar fasciitis. Walked the last 4 miles in huge pain, but pride kept me  from asking for a ride. Made it back though..





Now that I can walk straight again I am wondering what I shall do next year. Thoughts?