That darn red button

So the transmission of my car finally gave up and I have been car-less. It's one of those opportunities for God to show up like crazy! And that He did:

• Car broke down
• I cried, then realised this is not helping
• Texted a bunch of people and asked for prayer
• Got offered about 7 rides within 10 minutes
• Took the one that included a free tow!
• Cried again (Still NOT helping)
• Prayed some more
• Peace
• Friends gave me A BUNCH of money towards repair or 'new' car - my choice
• Still without car and lots of places to go.. (Prison and mentoring appointment!!)
• Walked into a meeting and told 2 people that I didn't quite know how to make those appointments
• Both offered me their car.

And thus comes the story of that darn red button...
I was driving my friend's car (a Mercedes - got some brownie points with some of the officers at prison) and was talking to her about the red SOS button. And she said I should totally push the button! She said it wasn't quite what you'd expected.
But in the background her son was yelling that I should wait until I am back at their place, so he can be there.
So I was like, cool... I'll wait!
I got to their house, got him to sit in the car with me and in awe I push that button.... A little flap opened just like on a rocket ship or something to reveal another red button underneath! It was magical... And not quite what I expected.

And the red button... Well, it looked intriguing. So I asked her (13 year old son): 'Should I push the red button?' And he said (what every 13 year old would say): YES!!

So I did! (I don't need much encouragement)

At first nothing much happened. But then we heard some faint noise that was coming closer. Within minutes we were engulfed in bright white light from above, as a helicopter was hovering over us.
A rope ladder fell out and and what seemed to be a Navy Seal climbed down to us. I was slightly panicked, but tried to remain calm.
The 13 year old was laughing hysterically and my friend was still on the phone. I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen, but I started saying my good bye's to my friends in my head.










OK, so I basically just managed to start the call with the Mercedes Onstar equivalent... Oops!



In other news... I would still appreciate any prayer for this situation. I probably still need another $1,000 to get my old car going again and have it safe. And if I go for a 'new' car, then I need the deal of the century... it's decision time! :)

So the other day ...

Notice something about the numbers?

So the other day my church called me. And I picked up.
There was a live person on the other end who proceeded to completely ignore me picking up my phone and just rattled off their script.

I smiled and quietly hung up at the end. I figured they probably got nervous and weren't prepared for a real person to answer the phone.

But it was still funny.

Question:
Do automated or scripted calls really work? And how do you feel when you get called by your church/school/club to be reminded about one of their events? Does it help or annoy? I'm undecided.

I probably lean more toward annoy. But whats a good way of getting information to people or getting people to respond to information?

Heilig Abend aka Christmas Eve

When I was growing up Christmas for me was always Christmas Eve. Christmas Day (and Boxing Day) were just days off to play with your toys you just got.

But Christmas Eve was THE day. We would get up in the morning, decorate the Christmas tree, listen to Christmas music, split off and wrap presents and then in the afternoon or early evening we would go to church.

There were 2 churches we could go to... The more modern, but small one with heating! (You were at least warm, but if you didn't come an hour before, you'd have to stand!) Or the 800 year old church: more seats, but NO heat. So I still associate church at Christmas with sitting in a freezing cold old building.

After church we'd go home and have dinner. Something easy, since my Mum is a firm believer in hanging out with the family instead of with the pots and pans. So sometimes we just had potato salad and bratwurst. But that's Christmas.

After dinner we'd wash up and then all go upstairs. Except for Mum, but I never questioned that. It was amazing to have some Dad time. He would totally play with us some crazy games.

And then the bell sounded. Our cue to come downstairs. So we'd grab the presents we had for the parents and siblings and ran down. The door opened and we would see the Christmas tree lit up for the first time (with real candles... It's not just that I'm old. Nowadays I still know a lot of people who put real candles on their tree for Christmas Eve. And lights for the rest of the time)

There was a little pile of presents for each one of us (we weren't into huge piles) and we would wish each other Merry Christmas and then open our presents. It was quite the magical time. :)

Let's fast forward to now... I've had quite a few Christmases without my family and that's fine. It's a choice I made. Oh, and let's face it... In my little story there I left out all the frustrations and tears that happened as well.. Family is no picnic and you know it.

Anyway, to this day Christmas Eve can be a little shaky for me. There might or might not have been some times when I ended up being a blabbering mess on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve I like having people around, eating together and having a good time. It helps keep me sane and happy. And it's fun as well.

So now I celebrate Christmas Eve with church and then food and friends. It works amazingly well for me and I have these great friends who invite me over to their family Christmas Eve dinner (me being the only one who's not related to anyone) and they even let me come late and un-showered from a gig and they feed me.

I get to sit there and enjoy all the good things about families and have a smile about the not so fun things in families (believe me, the not so fun things in family can make for pretty good entertainment when you're not related!)

Well, that is my Christmas Eve. How do you celebrate?

Pumped up kicks - dubstep video (sick!!)

Voice mail to Text - not quite there yet!

When I left a VM for my friend LINDSEY (not Lenny) the other day, here are some excerpts of what she received as a text. My comments are in big!

Hello hi lenny (it's LINDSEY!)

 @#$% hello happy for you (I DID NOT SWEAR!!) 

...black oh my gosh that's like wow (I sound like a 13 year old girl here)... of course I also miss ... little skin you know when you guys do and I just need you announcement of my it's ready and dave anywhere (say whaaaat? I don't even know what I'm talking about!)

 tomorrow hi my name is in ... (new name coming, apparently! Surprise, surprise!)

 time for you because I really it's ricky ... that is absolutely amazing ... sorry I'm cool yang ... noel but it's it's like wow . (I am definitely cool 'yang')

 rock up there with the top (I said TUB! stupid thing can't get the accent right!)

(Oh, this following bit certainly sounds like me...) you should pick like it was amazing and I not the person you probably still remember that I'm not the person I can pick up right virtual after here or anything I usually have people ... (WHAAAAT?)

I might have actually picked up like a little bit of but wow  (I think I certainly picked up a little bit of WOW) something I've changed out but you and was amazing I'm just charging talking about they just told us 92 get take about 1040 right he it's you know it's that I made that 

Yeah, this made sense! Not sure how I even chose Voice Mail to text. But THIS text made their night! I think they might have even peed their pants a little reading this out loud. No wonder... I apparently swore at them in the greeting! :)

Write a parable ... I dare you!

I've been reading through Mark 4 lately and have been quite inspired by the different parables Jesus was speaking about. I mean, that guy was good at relating the point he wanted to make to where his audience was at.

So I thought, I should try and rewrite some of these parables to make the same point as Jesus, but to make me understand it better and write as if I am talking to someone right now. Here.

So here you go. This is my updated version of the parable of the sower in Mark 4.

The kingdom of God is like recording a song and putting it on itunes for sale. Many people will look at it and then move right on because they’ve never heard of the artist before.
Then there are those who click on it and listen to the preview of the song. They think it’s ok, but not good enough to spend $1.29 on it.
Then some other people will listen to the song and download it. But then something else catches their attention and the song gets buried on their ipod and is maybe played twice in the year.
Still others buy the song, put it on their ipod and play it repeatedly. They don’t just know the words to that song, but have fallen in love with the artist as well. 

What do you think?

And I would LOVE to read your parables as well! Pick one, write one, send one. (jackiegotmail (at) gmail (dot) com)

the truth about camp or how awesome is cottage cheese?

I went to camp:

• My feet smelled BAD once released from the confines of the sneakers.  
• I ate cottage cheese. every. single. day. 
• I met a bunch of new people (80% of them were junior high age. Seeing as this was a junior high camp with 450+ junior high students, this is ok!)
• I waved my amazing YELLOW blow up 'foam' finger.... (and consequently lost it. Note to self: Do not lend foam fingers to junior high boys)
• I had a mohawk for 'mohawk day'. 
• I spent half a day on the ground waiting for someone to rescue me, because someone had the great idea to have 'attack day' where everybody shoots (pretend) blow darts at you and I just plain out suck at that game and got hit a lot.
• I got wet while kayaking, coz I didn't want to sit in the back. Instead I sat in the middle and almost SUNK the freaking boat. Not a boost for self esteem, but funny nevertheless. 
• I slept in a cabin and was surrounded by lots of dirt, rocks and trees. Some would call it beautiful. I call it nature. 
• I was part of the yellow team. We didn't win. 

It sounds ok, doesn't it? Not great (apart from the cottage cheese) but just ok...

But then you add the God factor. The God factor happens when you present these 450+ junior high students with truth.
The truth about self esteem and what they might see in the mirror (ugly, fat, etc) and how God sees them (beautiful, created with love).
The truth about not having to do everything on your own. Giving up the struggle and trusting God to take it. Surrendering things like drug use or addiction, family problems, peer pressure, alcoholism and more completely to God. (yes, those are all real problems junior high kids struggle with. I suggest you start talking with your kid!)
And the truth about community. The answer to the question of what comes after camp? What happens when I fall back? What happens when I get abused again? 

When you add the God factor to camp it takes camp from ok to mind blowingly great. It makes cottage cheese fade into the background and helps me see the students for who they are. And it gives me hope for this next generation. They can change the world. They will tell others about Jesus. As long as I will tell them! 

Conversations in jail - Names

My Juvies... I wish you could all meet them! They are incredible to me, make me smile, laugh and feel like I know a little better how God feels when we 'don't get it'.

I've told you before that I've been trying to learn names and that these guys sometimes give me their street names, rather than anything their parents may know them by. 

For me, it's ok to call them whatever they tell me I should call them as long as a) it's not offensive and b) they listen when I say 'their name'. 

The breakthrough came a few weeks back when some of them gave me their real name. That's a big deal for them. 

Names are powerful. We see that already in the Bible where names hold a certain meaning about the life of the individual. 

Names give us identity and therefore these guys like their street names. It's their identity. It's what they are known by, by their friends and also by their enemies. If they know how to handle themselves in tricky situations, then their street name carries importance and makes them feared by others. 

And that is also why giving me their real name is a sign of trust. And it makes me excited every time it happens. 

Today it didn't happen. I tried to learn all their names again and couldn't for the life of me remember the name of one of the guys. So they started 'helping' me. 

In the end, he 'suggested' to be called 'smurf' (They all wear blue!). I warned him that that's what I will call him unless he tells me his name (street name or real thing) and he decided smurf was ok with him. 

So I called him 'Smurf' the whole lesson long. And I grew quite fond of calling him that. And I think he did too! This might be the first 'cute' street name ever. 

I hope he keeps it! 

Good night Smurf! Hope you know how much Jesus Loves you! 

Like a boss

Last week in small group we talked about reducing stress... And one of the 'stressful' things in my life right now is a trip I'm planning. 

Let me explain.... 

I am not from the US. I'm from Germany. I grew up in Germany in a lovely house in the middle of nowhere. (In the picture the house doesn't looks so 'lovely' coz it's over 110 years old and for the past 6 years nobody has lived in it. The new owners are in the middle of giving some much needed TLC)

About 6 years ago my Dad died and my Mum moved to her old house. And since I don't have warm and fuzzies toward my Mum's place (nor actually to my old house) I am now indeed 'homeless' when I go home. And that in a way adds stress.

So now I have to organise places to stay and people to see like it's a business trip. On top of that comes that I've lived in the States for quite a while and sometimes have a hard time figuring out what is American and what is German. 

One of the best examples is restaurants. Here in the States you see this:

             

 And everybody waits to be seated. Coz that's what you do! 

In Germany you're expected to find your own seat. And everyone does. It's NOT THAT HARD. But sometimes I forget which system works in which country.

So what's the deal? There's not much of a deal. It's just a fact. I know that for me to tell people about stuff from Germany here in the States means explaining it as well. And it ends up being a loooong story that no one wants to hear. 

(My friends for example have a very hard time understanding why a 'Bring Your Own Meet BBQ' is a really weird concept in the States.)

So you see, going 'home' for me is stressful. I have to organise places to stay, people to see, transport and a lot of other things. I have to mentally brace myself for the ridiculously bad customer service I will get and yet I will enjoy paying the price that is posted on the product - in the supermarket or in the restaurant, it won't matter! I can't wait for mettbroetchen (ground beef/pork on a buttered roll) and spaghetti ice cream (it only looks like spaghetti!). I will use the public transport and miss air conditioning, and I will bring my own meat to my friends BBQ (and it's gonna be sausage!) 

I'm gonna rock this trip like the boss I am! And thus I will finish this rather lengthy blog post about how small group helped me reduce stress by organising a trip like a boss

Dear Future Me

So how is life? I wonder about a few things and hope you can answer some of my questions:

1: Have you ever found out why Ellen and Oprah were so freaking famous earlier on? I just can't get why people watch them or what it is that makes them famous. Do people even know who they were?

2: Has anybody been working on a device (or a food) that would enable us to lift ourselves up with our own farts? Still thinking there are some new sports out there, like human air hockey.

3: Has alcohol-free beer really stuck around? It seems weird since you could just have a coke instead of an alcoholic drink.

4: Has anybody invented a wooden chair that actually works? Or one that would be worth fixing? (remember how you 'fixed' those antique chairs? Yeah, they never worked again.

5: If you're still using mobile phones, has anybody managed to improve the battery life yet? I mean, they figured out how to make it smaller, then bigger again, then more apps, better call quality (not really), better plan... But no one worked on the battery...

6: if you're still in the USA, do they still have the normal light bulbs? And do they still insist on using toilet seat covers? What about free refills on sodas? (now that's a GREAT thing). And what about those HUGE cars?

These are all things I would love to find out. But the most important thing I want to know is if you managed to stick close to God and tell as many people as you can about Him. Remember how you wanted to go deeper with Him? Experience more adventures, talk to more people? You better have done that by now, Future Me. Remember how Jesus needs to be the center of your life. Maybe a lot of things have changed. Some for the better, some for the worst. But, Furture Me, hear me: You better have not let go of the one thing that never changes!! You better have a stronger faith, a better understanding of who Jesus is and you better have learned to listen and obey (not the delayed obedience, but the real thing).

Good on ya, Future Me, if you're still hanging with Jesus and sharing Him with others. If NOT, you better get your butt back to Him. And tell Him 'Sorry' from Past Me.

Youth in Jail

Every Saturday I get to share with youth in jail. These guys are amazing. And yet, they are bad. Very bad. But so amazing. 
Here are some of my favourite moments from just this last week:

Miss? Who's Hosanna? (while watching the worship DVD) 

Me: How do you make friends?Them: We beat them up, check if they have money in their wallets and then usually we become friends. (totally serious about that. Now I'm thinking I might try this method at church this weekend!?) 

Miss, why doesn't God want to look at us? (question while I'm trying to explain that God is holy and the need for Jesus. Apparently I am not doing a good job at that)

I usually walk out of there puzzled.  And then I look back through the glass door, see them smiling and waving at me and they seem so happy when I smile and wave back. Totally love what I do. Totally worth every weird and awkward moment. You know... The ones that I can't publish here! :)

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 6 (conclusion)

After church and lunch and fellowship and what not we were still trying to figure how we could get back to Darwin.


It's not like we had money. 


But thanks to some friends in Darwin who bought us Greyhound tickets we suddenly had a way back. 


We stayed the night in Katherine with a family, watched kids bull riding (yeah, really!) and then slept on the floor, on couches, in beds... Until the next morning when we woke up to rain. 



Now rain in the tropics is not just rain. Usually it's a lot of rain. 
But it's also not the random event like we have it here in Las Vegas now. At that time we were in the middle of the wet season and rain was to be expected. 
But this was A LOT of rain. So even driving from the house (outside of Katherine) to the bus station (Centre of Katherine) took several trips and quite a while because streets had started to flood. 


When we got to the bus station we found out that our bus was cancelled. The road out of Katherine was flooded. 
Panic set in, as we had tickets to fly to Indonesia in 2 days. We HAD to get out. Fast. 


There was a bus. There was a driver. But the road was flooded and we couldn't get out. 


We huddled together as a team and did the only thing we knew how to do... We prayed... 


10 minutes later the driver came up to us, told us to put our luggage in the bus (where the seats are, not underneath, because of the flooding) and told us to get in. Shortly after the bus started moving and we started towards Darwin. 


The driver kept on saying that the road was still considered closed but that he was gonna try to get through. Since us and our luggage were the only ones on the bus we all claimed 2 seats and started praying like crazy. 


It was still raining and there were parts of streets that you couldn't see anymore. Flooded with brown water, half the area on the way out of town was already not visible anymore. 


But we made it out. 


Now that doesn't seem like a big deal. But it was.... 


Turns out this storm and the rain was the worst in decades.
We were on the last bus/vehicle that left town for the next 10 days. The whole town flooded. As in REALLY flooded. Water up to the roof, people hanging out on top of the roof, getting picked up by helicopters - in short: Water everywhere. 




Now why is that story so amazing?

* Well, we made our flight to Indonesia and saw hundreds of people come to Christ.* We wouldn't have made that IF we would have had our own vehicle (Borthwick), as he wasn't high enough to pass through the flood waters, like the greyhound bus was able to. 

So Borthwick died so that we could go on outreach... 
Rather like Jesus died so that we can have life. 


Basically the same thing. :)

Prank Time - It's April Fools!

Jeff and me were in the kitchen when Danielle walked in.. 
' Jeff is a dirty rotten dog!!'
I couldn't believe these words had really come out of Danielle's mouth. 


Now you should know that Jeff and me rent rooms from Danielle and her husband Steve. They are the sweetest and most generous couple ever and we both love living there. 


Danielle grew up in the South and today we have company coming. That means that for the past 2 weeks we have done nothing else but organising, tidying and cleaning the house from top to bottom. 
Today was the day... They would finally get here...


'Jeff is a dirty rotten dog!' 


I smiled. I figured this could be fun. But I wasn't sure what had happened. 


Well, apparently Danielle was in a (very important) meeting today when she received the following text message from Jeff:

Someone left the stove on and the kitchen caught on fire. Maria (the housekeeper) got here before it got out of hang and we're just waiting for them to finish I guess.. They just now gave me my phone that was in my room. They said there's probably going to be a lot of smoke damage and that we should probably stay somewhere else for a couple of days for health risks!!
....
Before you have a heart attack right now I should probably tell you that I'm just kidding....

Yeah, that was the text she got in the middle of a meeting. And that is also why she came into the office saying that Jeff is a dirty rotten dog. 
The world makes sense again. 


Now that I have stopped laughing I thought I'd post this so that you guys can enjoy a good laugh...


Slightly mean, but funny prank! 

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 5

Half the town seemed to show up to our departure. First of all we had to choose any extras we were gonna take. Everything else was gonna be left in this small town (together with Borthwick - may he rest in peace).
Then came the packing. At first we all helped, but then we placed people into the car and loaded them up with stuff. Added another person and loaded them up, until we were all in the car with all luggage and camping equipment. It's good to have played tetris a lot.


That trip I hardly remember. We all slept a lot and finally got to Katherine. You'd think that would be the end of the story. But it's really not. There's more. And there was a reason for Borthwick's death!


In Katherine we were able to shower, eat and sleep and then go to church the next morning. Katherine is about 300 kilometers south of Darwin and we kind of had to be back in Darwin soon, since we had tickets to fly to Indonesia in a couple days.


So while we are prepping for church we are also trying to figure out how the heck we can make it back to Darwin with no money and no van.


When we got to church we were surprised to find some YWAM Darwin staff that had taken a weekend to hang in Katherine. We told them our story AND were able to pile our camping gear in their car. That way we were travelling a lot lighter.


To read the conclusion of 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace', check back April 2! :)

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 4

We rode back into town and delivered Borthwick to the mechanic. He promptly pronounced him dead. The whole floor underneath the driver's seat and steering column had disappeared. Apparently Borthwick had a bit of a rust problem, so when we collided with the cow we left half the van in rust on the street.


The time in this town was interesting. The bad thing: no rental car company at all. The good thing: everybody knows everybody. So the cousin called his wife, who knew a friend who had a van and nothing to do that day. So he said he would take us the several hundred kilometer trip to Katherine.


You see, we kind of were scheduled to appear in church that day. Since that wasn't gonna happen, we cancelled that day's performance and said we'd definitely be there the next day in the morning. (This is generally known as a faith statement)


Couple things you might not have considered:

• We didn't really have much money
• Most of that non existent money went to the tow truck and our new van driver (who also had to drive several hundred kilometers back)
• Borthwick was dead and not really our car. It belonged to the YWAM base, which meant several phone calls with them just to sort that thing out right. Not like we wanted to come back to this town.
• We were 8 people with one piece of luggage each, plus guitar, plus camping gear for 8, plus food. I think the van we were taking to Katherine was maybe a 12 seater without a roof rack???

To read about the next part of the 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace' adventure check back tomorrow.

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 3

The first road train pulled Borthwick off the road. By then we had a closer look at what had happened. The horn of the cow had popped out the radio from behind and deposited it on the front seat. The front seat was EXACTLY the size of Lisa now. No wiggle room. If it'd been me, I would have been crushed a bit. All she got was a scratch. And you also couldn't move Borthwick anymore. You know, without the help of a road train.


The second road train that came by was going the right way. I'd also like to mention that this was in 1998. Cell phones were rare and well, we were in the middle of nowhere anyway. the next town was 70 kilometers away. Oh and road trains are not allowed to take passengers. So for all intents and purposes, we seemed pretty stuck.


But the second road train driver helped us out. He took Lisa on and drove her to the next town. (Looking back, maybe that was a bit scary, but at least we didn't send a student!)


I stayed back with the students, Borthwick and maybe 4 liters of water in the dessert with no way of knowing when she'd be back.


But she came back. With a towing truck. Let me tell you what she told us what happened. So they got to the town (still pretty early in the morning). They found someone who was awake, who then found the mayor/town leader, who's cousin owned the towing company and woke all these people up. And then she came back with the tow truck... Sounds easy? Well, maybe you should ask her for her side of the story!


We were just hanging out in our broken van, trying not to die. (Obviously we survived!)

The tow truck got Borthwick on the flatbed and then there was the question on how to get all of us back as well... Only one or two people would be allowed to ride up front in the tow truck... But the tow truck driver made another exception from something completely illegal and let us all ride INSIDE Borthwick on the back of the truck. One of those rides you wish you had photos of.




To read part 4 of 'Borthwick - May he rest in peace' come back tomorrow. 

Borthwick - may he rest in peace... Part 2

So you see... Borthwick was important. And we were on our way back up to Darwin to catch our plane to Indonesia. We stopped on the way to overnight at Devil's marbles. It's this really amazing rock formation in the middle of nowhere.
We fought the BILLIONS of flies that night, slept on picnic benches and then started driving again at around 4ish in the morning.
Remember? Borthwick had trouble with the whole overheating thing and we were trying to give it a break from driving in the dessert heat during the day.


The plan seemed to work. Although it's hard to tell because about half an hour into the trip the accident happened.
Lisa was driving along Stuart Highway, we are still in the middle of nowhere and it's freaking dark outside. So.... We kind of hit a cow!

Yes, that's right. We hit a cow. She just never had a chance. (the cow AND Lisa). There was a big bang, we all scrambled all over the place and one of our students ended up with liquid something all over her (Borthwich wasn't airconditioned, so the windows were open)
At first she was shrieking because we thought it was blood. Turns out it was poop... Not sure what's worse...

We didn't see a sign like this!

We all got out with torches (flashlights) and some tried to find chase away the cow. Some of us tried to move Borthwick off the road. It was kind of in the middle of a dark highway. No biggie....


Well, we didn't find the cow or were able to move Borthwick. So we tried to light it up as well as we could and then stationed people up and down the road to warn any cars or ROAD TRAINS (those are scary and huge) about Borthwick in the middle of the road.


To read part 3 of 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace' come back tomorrow.

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 1

Ok, no need to be sad or anything. Borthwick was a van. An Australian van that was totaled in an unfortunate incident with a cow.
I thought it was time to tell the story...


Once upon a time sometime back in the nineties when I was on staff with Youth With A Mission Darwin, we were crossing Australia in our trusty old van 'Borthwick'. (The photo has the same model, but ours didn't look that nice)


The name Borthwick was a name I had heard from one of my friends (Donka, to be precise. remember, this is in Australia). We baptised him with cordial (it's like kool-aid) which made his rear view mirror sticky (which we didn't clean forever).


'Trusty' is also a very generous word to describe Borthwick. I learned early on that if visiting friends I was never to leave last. That way there were always gonna be enough people left to help push-start Borthwick. We even tried in reverse once. (This is also the reason why I'm a CHAMP at letting the clutch come slowly)


So Borthwick had it's problems and already during the trip down (from Darwin to Adelaide) - a mere 3,000+ kilometers - Borthwick tended to be temperamental. Since we were a Discipleship Training School with YWAM and on outreach, that just meant we had lots of opportunities to pray for the van. LOTS of opportunities.


To go up the hills in Adelaide we had to stop and take a break before we'd attempt it. Just so that Borthwick wouldn't overheat.


The overheating was a real problem.


But we also had other problems. Running out of gas was a regular problem as well, but we always filled the billy can and were good on that. And so we usually took those stops to make sure everything else was secure.
One of our guys would climb up on the roof and check all the ropes. The leader of the school, Lisa, and me would make sure that Borthwick was doing ok and getting petrol back into it.
And then we'd all climb back into the van and get going again.


Except one time.


Somehow we didn't quite count and had forgotten Bill on the roof. Luckily his wife remembered that he was missing and stopped us from going so that he could climb back down and into Borthwick.
--------
For part 2 of 'Borthwick - May he rest in peace' come back tomorrow.

Death to yoga, cats rule (Part 2)

Against my better judgment I totally went back to whacky yoga studio. By now I am thinking of how much money I could make if I could just sell the 'whack your belly' idea without cracking up laughing (Membership for a year is over $1000 at this place!)


This was the 'normal' yoga session. No vibration yoga, no intestine cleansing stuff... But the 'warm up' still consists of whacking your belly, counting to 10 and, if you're me, trying to not laugh out loud. 


The middle section wasn't so bad. It was stretching. just that these people believe in holding the pose for a minimum of 10 minutes, which means you only stretch 2 muscles. And it also means that I now understand the need for yoga pants (they don't have zippers or buttons that you might end up sitting/laying on). 


At one point she challenged us to do the 'washing machine'. You stand with your feet together and twist your hips. This goes on for about 5 minutes, after which you will probably feel a few things. Instructor person said that it's normal to feel a bit of pain in your kidney's, stomach or liver. 


So after this deal you get on the floor and are basically supposed to ram a piece of wood into the area where you felt pain and massage it! (Aehm, yeah... This makes sense...)


So I went along with it, but basically was going for a snooze....


Suddenly the iinstructor was just about on top of me and proceeded to show me what she meant. She took the wood thing and very 'gently' rammed it into my liver until it just about touched the ground (with the problem that there was still a bit of me in between the ground and the wood)


And then she asked how this felt!!!! I almost laughed out loud. I couldn't quite breathe right anymore, since half my insides had shifted and I wanted her OFF ME!! 


So I just said 'slightly painful'. She asked 'good eh??' 


ARE YOU CRAZY LADY??? You're pretty much turning my liver into ground meat and are sitting on top of me....


But I have learned my lesson... 


'Sure.. Sort of'


She finally let go and moved on...


I breathed again and continued to hold on to the laughter insider of me. 


Oh. My. Goodness. 


Nothing much else to say about this...


Except: Yoga instructors should use breath mints more frequently. 

'Death to Yoga, cats rule'

The title is actually stolen from a note that my friend sent me. I just really liked it and decided it kind of fits. 

So, yoga! I really had nothing against it and that is probably why I decided I should try the groupon thing and sign up for it. Well, that and the fact that I'm looking for alternatives to running, since I am still struggling with Plantar Fasciitis (look it up... it hurts!)

I think my problem is that I might have signed up for the whackiest yoga center available. 

My first session was a 'vibration class', which already sounded sketch, but I thought 'what the heck'. 

you walk into (of course) a tranquil environment with soft music and very nice, soft spoken people who to me just turn out to be annoying. Plus, with all their soft spokeness, my response usually is a repeated 'HUH???'. (And I don't do the soft spoken crap! Speak up Lady!)

After already being recruited for the next meditation seminar (online, for the bargain price of $200 - NO THANK YOU) you walk in and find a group standing in a circle SLAPPING THEIR BELLIES!!! 

I should have turned and ran right here! What was I thinking?? Nothing obviously! And that's apparently the point of yoga and thus I fit right in: 'Let your mind go...' (said in a soft spoken sing song voice that makes me want to throw stuff)

So for the first TEN minutes you stand in a circle and (no joke) hit your belly... Or what these guys call your 'Dahn Jo' aka your center.... I don't really know why you would repeatedly hit your 'center' but you do. It didn't do anything for me, except I wanted to laugh out loud SO bad. (I didn't! - points for self discipline)

They told me that the vibration class is all fun and stuff... So after the quite weird 'warm up' exercises you grab a mat (still don't know why) and then the yoga instructor (and instructor is quite the exaggeration!) puts on Asian Techno, dims the lights and tells us to dance... 'Not pretty dance, but crazy dance'. (That's a direct quote and that's the extend of the instructions)

So for the next TWENTY minutes that's what we do... Which is hard when you're trying not to crack up laughing. If this is yoga I could just go to a club! Ladies get in for free in most Vegas clubs and it'd be cheaper!!!

It was ridiculous. And no joke, that was the extend of the class. After the weird dance session you just lay on your back and breathe right (something that apparently I haven't mastered in my almost 37 years of life... Sucks to be me)

I took another class... Not vibration. Thinking maybe it was different. Well, it was.... But I save that for another blog post! 

As for 'Cats rule'... I tend to disagree, since our house cat has chosen my bed to crawl UNDERNEATH the covers... Something I despise!