'Death to Yoga, cats rule'

The title is actually stolen from a note that my friend sent me. I just really liked it and decided it kind of fits. 

So, yoga! I really had nothing against it and that is probably why I decided I should try the groupon thing and sign up for it. Well, that and the fact that I'm looking for alternatives to running, since I am still struggling with Plantar Fasciitis (look it up... it hurts!)

I think my problem is that I might have signed up for the whackiest yoga center available. 

My first session was a 'vibration class', which already sounded sketch, but I thought 'what the heck'. 

you walk into (of course) a tranquil environment with soft music and very nice, soft spoken people who to me just turn out to be annoying. Plus, with all their soft spokeness, my response usually is a repeated 'HUH???'. (And I don't do the soft spoken crap! Speak up Lady!)

After already being recruited for the next meditation seminar (online, for the bargain price of $200 - NO THANK YOU) you walk in and find a group standing in a circle SLAPPING THEIR BELLIES!!! 

I should have turned and ran right here! What was I thinking?? Nothing obviously! And that's apparently the point of yoga and thus I fit right in: 'Let your mind go...' (said in a soft spoken sing song voice that makes me want to throw stuff)

So for the first TEN minutes you stand in a circle and (no joke) hit your belly... Or what these guys call your 'Dahn Jo' aka your center.... I don't really know why you would repeatedly hit your 'center' but you do. It didn't do anything for me, except I wanted to laugh out loud SO bad. (I didn't! - points for self discipline)

They told me that the vibration class is all fun and stuff... So after the quite weird 'warm up' exercises you grab a mat (still don't know why) and then the yoga instructor (and instructor is quite the exaggeration!) puts on Asian Techno, dims the lights and tells us to dance... 'Not pretty dance, but crazy dance'. (That's a direct quote and that's the extend of the instructions)

So for the next TWENTY minutes that's what we do... Which is hard when you're trying not to crack up laughing. If this is yoga I could just go to a club! Ladies get in for free in most Vegas clubs and it'd be cheaper!!!

It was ridiculous. And no joke, that was the extend of the class. After the weird dance session you just lay on your back and breathe right (something that apparently I haven't mastered in my almost 37 years of life... Sucks to be me)

I took another class... Not vibration. Thinking maybe it was different. Well, it was.... But I save that for another blog post! 

As for 'Cats rule'... I tend to disagree, since our house cat has chosen my bed to crawl UNDERNEATH the covers... Something I despise!