Prank Time - It's April Fools!

Jeff and me were in the kitchen when Danielle walked in.. 
' Jeff is a dirty rotten dog!!'
I couldn't believe these words had really come out of Danielle's mouth. 


Now you should know that Jeff and me rent rooms from Danielle and her husband Steve. They are the sweetest and most generous couple ever and we both love living there. 


Danielle grew up in the South and today we have company coming. That means that for the past 2 weeks we have done nothing else but organising, tidying and cleaning the house from top to bottom. 
Today was the day... They would finally get here...


'Jeff is a dirty rotten dog!' 


I smiled. I figured this could be fun. But I wasn't sure what had happened. 


Well, apparently Danielle was in a (very important) meeting today when she received the following text message from Jeff:

Someone left the stove on and the kitchen caught on fire. Maria (the housekeeper) got here before it got out of hang and we're just waiting for them to finish I guess.. They just now gave me my phone that was in my room. They said there's probably going to be a lot of smoke damage and that we should probably stay somewhere else for a couple of days for health risks!!
....
Before you have a heart attack right now I should probably tell you that I'm just kidding....

Yeah, that was the text she got in the middle of a meeting. And that is also why she came into the office saying that Jeff is a dirty rotten dog. 
The world makes sense again. 


Now that I have stopped laughing I thought I'd post this so that you guys can enjoy a good laugh...


Slightly mean, but funny prank! 

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 5

Half the town seemed to show up to our departure. First of all we had to choose any extras we were gonna take. Everything else was gonna be left in this small town (together with Borthwick - may he rest in peace).
Then came the packing. At first we all helped, but then we placed people into the car and loaded them up with stuff. Added another person and loaded them up, until we were all in the car with all luggage and camping equipment. It's good to have played tetris a lot.


That trip I hardly remember. We all slept a lot and finally got to Katherine. You'd think that would be the end of the story. But it's really not. There's more. And there was a reason for Borthwick's death!


In Katherine we were able to shower, eat and sleep and then go to church the next morning. Katherine is about 300 kilometers south of Darwin and we kind of had to be back in Darwin soon, since we had tickets to fly to Indonesia in a couple days.


So while we are prepping for church we are also trying to figure out how the heck we can make it back to Darwin with no money and no van.


When we got to church we were surprised to find some YWAM Darwin staff that had taken a weekend to hang in Katherine. We told them our story AND were able to pile our camping gear in their car. That way we were travelling a lot lighter.


To read the conclusion of 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace', check back April 2! :)

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 4

We rode back into town and delivered Borthwick to the mechanic. He promptly pronounced him dead. The whole floor underneath the driver's seat and steering column had disappeared. Apparently Borthwick had a bit of a rust problem, so when we collided with the cow we left half the van in rust on the street.


The time in this town was interesting. The bad thing: no rental car company at all. The good thing: everybody knows everybody. So the cousin called his wife, who knew a friend who had a van and nothing to do that day. So he said he would take us the several hundred kilometer trip to Katherine.


You see, we kind of were scheduled to appear in church that day. Since that wasn't gonna happen, we cancelled that day's performance and said we'd definitely be there the next day in the morning. (This is generally known as a faith statement)


Couple things you might not have considered:

• We didn't really have much money
• Most of that non existent money went to the tow truck and our new van driver (who also had to drive several hundred kilometers back)
• Borthwick was dead and not really our car. It belonged to the YWAM base, which meant several phone calls with them just to sort that thing out right. Not like we wanted to come back to this town.
• We were 8 people with one piece of luggage each, plus guitar, plus camping gear for 8, plus food. I think the van we were taking to Katherine was maybe a 12 seater without a roof rack???

To read about the next part of the 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace' adventure check back tomorrow.

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 3

The first road train pulled Borthwick off the road. By then we had a closer look at what had happened. The horn of the cow had popped out the radio from behind and deposited it on the front seat. The front seat was EXACTLY the size of Lisa now. No wiggle room. If it'd been me, I would have been crushed a bit. All she got was a scratch. And you also couldn't move Borthwick anymore. You know, without the help of a road train.


The second road train that came by was going the right way. I'd also like to mention that this was in 1998. Cell phones were rare and well, we were in the middle of nowhere anyway. the next town was 70 kilometers away. Oh and road trains are not allowed to take passengers. So for all intents and purposes, we seemed pretty stuck.


But the second road train driver helped us out. He took Lisa on and drove her to the next town. (Looking back, maybe that was a bit scary, but at least we didn't send a student!)


I stayed back with the students, Borthwick and maybe 4 liters of water in the dessert with no way of knowing when she'd be back.


But she came back. With a towing truck. Let me tell you what she told us what happened. So they got to the town (still pretty early in the morning). They found someone who was awake, who then found the mayor/town leader, who's cousin owned the towing company and woke all these people up. And then she came back with the tow truck... Sounds easy? Well, maybe you should ask her for her side of the story!


We were just hanging out in our broken van, trying not to die. (Obviously we survived!)

The tow truck got Borthwick on the flatbed and then there was the question on how to get all of us back as well... Only one or two people would be allowed to ride up front in the tow truck... But the tow truck driver made another exception from something completely illegal and let us all ride INSIDE Borthwick on the back of the truck. One of those rides you wish you had photos of.




To read part 4 of 'Borthwick - May he rest in peace' come back tomorrow. 

Borthwick - may he rest in peace... Part 2

So you see... Borthwick was important. And we were on our way back up to Darwin to catch our plane to Indonesia. We stopped on the way to overnight at Devil's marbles. It's this really amazing rock formation in the middle of nowhere.
We fought the BILLIONS of flies that night, slept on picnic benches and then started driving again at around 4ish in the morning.
Remember? Borthwick had trouble with the whole overheating thing and we were trying to give it a break from driving in the dessert heat during the day.


The plan seemed to work. Although it's hard to tell because about half an hour into the trip the accident happened.
Lisa was driving along Stuart Highway, we are still in the middle of nowhere and it's freaking dark outside. So.... We kind of hit a cow!

Yes, that's right. We hit a cow. She just never had a chance. (the cow AND Lisa). There was a big bang, we all scrambled all over the place and one of our students ended up with liquid something all over her (Borthwich wasn't airconditioned, so the windows were open)
At first she was shrieking because we thought it was blood. Turns out it was poop... Not sure what's worse...

We didn't see a sign like this!

We all got out with torches (flashlights) and some tried to find chase away the cow. Some of us tried to move Borthwick off the road. It was kind of in the middle of a dark highway. No biggie....


Well, we didn't find the cow or were able to move Borthwick. So we tried to light it up as well as we could and then stationed people up and down the road to warn any cars or ROAD TRAINS (those are scary and huge) about Borthwick in the middle of the road.


To read part 3 of 'Borthwick - may he rest in peace' come back tomorrow.

Borthwick - May he rest in peace... Part 1

Ok, no need to be sad or anything. Borthwick was a van. An Australian van that was totaled in an unfortunate incident with a cow.
I thought it was time to tell the story...


Once upon a time sometime back in the nineties when I was on staff with Youth With A Mission Darwin, we were crossing Australia in our trusty old van 'Borthwick'. (The photo has the same model, but ours didn't look that nice)


The name Borthwick was a name I had heard from one of my friends (Donka, to be precise. remember, this is in Australia). We baptised him with cordial (it's like kool-aid) which made his rear view mirror sticky (which we didn't clean forever).


'Trusty' is also a very generous word to describe Borthwick. I learned early on that if visiting friends I was never to leave last. That way there were always gonna be enough people left to help push-start Borthwick. We even tried in reverse once. (This is also the reason why I'm a CHAMP at letting the clutch come slowly)


So Borthwick had it's problems and already during the trip down (from Darwin to Adelaide) - a mere 3,000+ kilometers - Borthwick tended to be temperamental. Since we were a Discipleship Training School with YWAM and on outreach, that just meant we had lots of opportunities to pray for the van. LOTS of opportunities.


To go up the hills in Adelaide we had to stop and take a break before we'd attempt it. Just so that Borthwick wouldn't overheat.


The overheating was a real problem.


But we also had other problems. Running out of gas was a regular problem as well, but we always filled the billy can and were good on that. And so we usually took those stops to make sure everything else was secure.
One of our guys would climb up on the roof and check all the ropes. The leader of the school, Lisa, and me would make sure that Borthwick was doing ok and getting petrol back into it.
And then we'd all climb back into the van and get going again.


Except one time.


Somehow we didn't quite count and had forgotten Bill on the roof. Luckily his wife remembered that he was missing and stopped us from going so that he could climb back down and into Borthwick.
--------
For part 2 of 'Borthwick - May he rest in peace' come back tomorrow.

The days that don't feel right

Some days I feel like I don't fit in; don't belong. 
Some days I miss living among Germans. 
Some days the slight cultural difference gets to me. 
Then I remember who Jesus is and what he's done for me.
And I know I belong. No matter how I feel.

A Story of Grace

I wish I could learn it...
The art of shutting up. Of not having an opinion and just going with the flow.

See, I was given a second chance. Nobody had to give me a second chance. But they did. 

I was in a situation where I felt super uncomfortable and didn't want to be there. Yet, I couldn't get out of it. And I became negative. Actually you can probably call it bitter and twisted. 
I was pretty lost in my misery, but I didn't think it really affected anybody else.
And then someone came and talked to me. Pretty bluntly.

'Hey, people are pretty much counting the days of when you're going to leave. Nobody wants to really be around you, because you're so negative.'

I broke down, because it hurt. But no matter how much it hurt, I also knew he was right and that I had a choice. I could sink deeper in my self pity and misery (because, let's face it: Life was treating me unfairly) or I could snap out of it, ask for forgiveness and when it comes time to leave, I actually leave with people I will miss and who might miss me. 

I am pretty proud to say that I did exactly that! I left with friends. People who genuinely like me, knew I had struggled, but forgave me for being (excuse the language) an ass. 

This is one of my stories of grace... Of second chances. Undeserved, yet given. 

Why ....

Ok, truth? 

There are days when I wonder why I do what I do...

And then I click on this link and remember....

God Behind Bars in Oklahoma

A start

RUSH -Rewriting Ur Story Here

Rush is the youth version of God Behind Bars. The idea? Introducing young inmates to Christ by providing a top of the line, relevant worship experience for them; helping them to overcome hurts, habits and hang-ups in their lives by providing Christ centered youth recovery groups and helping them to move forward after they get out by providing mentors in their life. 


So last Saturday was the first time we ran RUSH at the county jail. The jail now has a youth unit with between 15-25 young people who are waiting for their trial. 


20 of them showed up that day. 
Voluntarily.
With lots of questions.
Some of them knowing nothing about Christ. 


It was a challenge, but totally worth it. I thought the worship time was going to be awkward. And it was. And yet after about 10 minutes the awkwardness lifted and they were staring at the screen, taking in the music. 


I thought the games were going to be awkward, but they weren't! I just asked them questions about life. What do you like better? Beach or Pool? (Beach) NYC or LA (LA). 


And then the message. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do a normal message. There was no way that they would let me talk uninterrupted for like 15 minutes. 


It went well in the end. I was able to talk to them about who Jesus is, why He is important and what He's done for us. At one point I got a little nervous, because I knew it was time to finish soon and with all their questions in the middle I couldn't move past the point of 'We all SUCK! We've ALL been bad and deserve death!'
You can imagine my slight panic as I knew I had to keep going no matter how many questions I had to ignore... And I'm happy to report that I did it! Left them with hope that is! We all deserve death, but that's why Jesus came..


Amazing night. To be repeated. Every Saturday! :)


Pray for me!?

Death to yoga, cats rule (Part 2)

Against my better judgment I totally went back to whacky yoga studio. By now I am thinking of how much money I could make if I could just sell the 'whack your belly' idea without cracking up laughing (Membership for a year is over $1000 at this place!)


This was the 'normal' yoga session. No vibration yoga, no intestine cleansing stuff... But the 'warm up' still consists of whacking your belly, counting to 10 and, if you're me, trying to not laugh out loud. 


The middle section wasn't so bad. It was stretching. just that these people believe in holding the pose for a minimum of 10 minutes, which means you only stretch 2 muscles. And it also means that I now understand the need for yoga pants (they don't have zippers or buttons that you might end up sitting/laying on). 


At one point she challenged us to do the 'washing machine'. You stand with your feet together and twist your hips. This goes on for about 5 minutes, after which you will probably feel a few things. Instructor person said that it's normal to feel a bit of pain in your kidney's, stomach or liver. 


So after this deal you get on the floor and are basically supposed to ram a piece of wood into the area where you felt pain and massage it! (Aehm, yeah... This makes sense...)


So I went along with it, but basically was going for a snooze....


Suddenly the iinstructor was just about on top of me and proceeded to show me what she meant. She took the wood thing and very 'gently' rammed it into my liver until it just about touched the ground (with the problem that there was still a bit of me in between the ground and the wood)


And then she asked how this felt!!!! I almost laughed out loud. I couldn't quite breathe right anymore, since half my insides had shifted and I wanted her OFF ME!! 


So I just said 'slightly painful'. She asked 'good eh??' 


ARE YOU CRAZY LADY??? You're pretty much turning my liver into ground meat and are sitting on top of me....


But I have learned my lesson... 


'Sure.. Sort of'


She finally let go and moved on...


I breathed again and continued to hold on to the laughter insider of me. 


Oh. My. Goodness. 


Nothing much else to say about this...


Except: Yoga instructors should use breath mints more frequently. 

'Death to Yoga, cats rule'

The title is actually stolen from a note that my friend sent me. I just really liked it and decided it kind of fits. 

So, yoga! I really had nothing against it and that is probably why I decided I should try the groupon thing and sign up for it. Well, that and the fact that I'm looking for alternatives to running, since I am still struggling with Plantar Fasciitis (look it up... it hurts!)

I think my problem is that I might have signed up for the whackiest yoga center available. 

My first session was a 'vibration class', which already sounded sketch, but I thought 'what the heck'. 

you walk into (of course) a tranquil environment with soft music and very nice, soft spoken people who to me just turn out to be annoying. Plus, with all their soft spokeness, my response usually is a repeated 'HUH???'. (And I don't do the soft spoken crap! Speak up Lady!)

After already being recruited for the next meditation seminar (online, for the bargain price of $200 - NO THANK YOU) you walk in and find a group standing in a circle SLAPPING THEIR BELLIES!!! 

I should have turned and ran right here! What was I thinking?? Nothing obviously! And that's apparently the point of yoga and thus I fit right in: 'Let your mind go...' (said in a soft spoken sing song voice that makes me want to throw stuff)

So for the first TEN minutes you stand in a circle and (no joke) hit your belly... Or what these guys call your 'Dahn Jo' aka your center.... I don't really know why you would repeatedly hit your 'center' but you do. It didn't do anything for me, except I wanted to laugh out loud SO bad. (I didn't! - points for self discipline)

They told me that the vibration class is all fun and stuff... So after the quite weird 'warm up' exercises you grab a mat (still don't know why) and then the yoga instructor (and instructor is quite the exaggeration!) puts on Asian Techno, dims the lights and tells us to dance... 'Not pretty dance, but crazy dance'. (That's a direct quote and that's the extend of the instructions)

So for the next TWENTY minutes that's what we do... Which is hard when you're trying not to crack up laughing. If this is yoga I could just go to a club! Ladies get in for free in most Vegas clubs and it'd be cheaper!!!

It was ridiculous. And no joke, that was the extend of the class. After the weird dance session you just lay on your back and breathe right (something that apparently I haven't mastered in my almost 37 years of life... Sucks to be me)

I took another class... Not vibration. Thinking maybe it was different. Well, it was.... But I save that for another blog post! 

As for 'Cats rule'... I tend to disagree, since our house cat has chosen my bed to crawl UNDERNEATH the covers... Something I despise!