People I meet (2)

It was just that kind of a day... As if I hadn't enough problems. My life seemed to be crushing down on me majorly. 

One of my best friends was ignoring me. She has made friends with another girl and now they hang out all the time. It is hard to deal with that, coz I feel slightly left out. And all the attention I wanted from my friend is now going towards that other person. Annoying situation. 

One of my co workers turned out to be a pain in the butt. He turned out to be unreliable and just plain out selfish and immature. Also lovely, if you're the one having to deal with that. 

And now a friend and me were supposed to have a meeting, but he forgot and now he's planned his whole day and there's no way we can meet. What a mess. It was just the last straw that I needed and it certainly broke the camels back. 

Maybe it's selfish to want friends who actually are there for you and who totally are for you. Maybe it's selfish to hope that when I talk with my friends about personal stuff that it stays within our relationship and doesn't get talked about with others.

Maybe it is selfish to think that cancelling a meeting is bad enough, but giving no notice is horrible. 

So here I was, with everything that was going on in my head and not a clue on how to deal with it! 

I had found a secluded spot in this park and just sat down and cried. There was so much frustration in me, anger, disappointment and not much hope for the future. Again my thoughts were drifting to the spot I didn't want them to be... is this really worth it? Wouldn't it be easier to just finish it all now? 

I was still sobbing when I realised someone else was around. He was leaning on a tree not far from here, dressed in dark blue jeans and some sort of printed tee. I rolled my eyes. How rude to be this close to someone else in an otherwise empty park! WHat the crap! 

I let my sunnies slide down, in the hope that he wouldn't see that I was crying! Also really hoping that the signals were quite clear about me wanting to be alone. 

Nevertheless he came over. As he walked towards me I realised that this guy was just not your normal kind of guy. He wore pretty sleek jeans and a printed tee, had tatoos on both arms and his right ears had at least 7 piercings all the way up. His face was friendly, almost gentle and he looked quite concerned now. 

'Hey Frauke' he said. Oops. Apparently he knew me! oh well, this would be just the crowning of an already bad day. 'Are you ok? Man, I can't believe all that stuff is happening to you and I know you feel like there's no one to talk to. I just thought I'd find you and tell you that there is someone you can talk to! I know life seems horrible right now. I know you're hurting, I know exactly how you feel. 

See, a while ago a really good friend betrayed me. He did a lot of things that I just hadn't expected from him. He shared intimate details of our friendship, found other friends to hang out with that were not a good influence on him at all. And he totally distanced himself from me. It was horrible. 

I really liked him, but had to learn that my value was never to be determined by him. Yours and my value was never to be determinded by the relationships and friendships I have. So when those friends leave for whatever reasons, you're not supposed to be on your own! You're valuable, coz you are. No relationships will make you more valuable and none will diminish your value. 

I think you feel like crap right now, coz everything came crumbling down. But I just wanted to find you and remind you that there is one person that loves you no matter what. And that person will never change and their feelings are always gonna be the same toward you! So maybe it's time talking to that person again and forgetting about the rest..? 

Make some new friends. Make new relationships. Don't worry about the old ones, just worry about one!'

And with that he came towards me, hugged me really hard and then turned around and walked away... 

I wish I would know where he lives. Would be fun to hang out some more. He seems nice. What was his name again? Oh yeah, I know! 

Jesus

People I meet (1)

'Hey you!' The guy sat down next to me as if he actually knew me! I could not remember meeting him before. He was of medium height, skinny, with darkly tanned skin, black (messy) hair and a pointed nose. He was not one of those guys that might be 'discovered' for modelling, yet his features were interesting. 
He spoke with confidence and acted accordingly. After putting down his cup of coffee, he took off his heavy coat and let himself sink back in the comfy chair at Starbucks. I was surprised to see a dark blue pair of jeans that looked like they cost a fortune under the floor length army coat. 

He looked and me and seemed to realise that I had no idea who in the world he was and where we would have met before. I was slightly annoyed at being disturbed at my favourite time of the week... hanging out at Starbucks, thinking, journaling and making fun of people in my mind. But I was intrigued and far too proud to let on that I had no idea who he was. I was just gonna play along and figure it out. 
Besides, I had been here now for almost 2 hours and maybe it was time for some change in pace! And this could be interesting. 

He was still smiling when he noticed the book on the table. It was a Clive Cussler adventure novel! So good! I had just finished it this morning. 'Good book eh?' he asked. Somehow I was surprised to hear that he knew about Clive Cussler books. My mind was still racing, trying to figure out where we had met and what we had been doing. I couldn't put my finger on it yet, but I knew this guy. And him reading a Clive Cussler book just didn't fit together. 

'yeah, I loved it! It was a good read! Did you read it as well?' I asked, because I didn't know what else to ask. I needed time to think! 
'Yep! I read it over a weekend I think! Didn't do much else that weekend! Just couldn't put it down. It's a cool story!'
He took a sip of his coffee. 'So frauke, how are you doing?'
So now it was official! He knew my name and I still was trying to come up with his. If I could just remember where we had met! I had to answer. It wasn't just politeness that required an answer, but he actually seemed interested in the real thing.. So a casual 'fine' was just not going to fly right now!

I started telling him about things that were going on for me right now. Some of the fun stuff (visiting friends), the embarrassing story (trying to squeeze myself into the back of a car through the passenger door, even though the car had 4 doors) and the hard stuff (feeling quite alone in the middle of my green card application). He listened through all of it. It was good sitting there with him and seeing that he seemingly cared. 
I asked him how things were going for him. He smiled and told me that he had just come from a football game. A friend of his was playing in the team and he had gone to watch. His friend's team had lost badly, so he'd basically been cold and wet for hours on end for a lost game. But he didn't seem to mind. 
Surprised, I asked if he had always liked football. He laughed and said that he loves hanging out with his friends. And if they play football or knit sweaters he will be there. 

We sat in silence for a while as neither of us talked. Then he chugged the last of his coffee, got up and put on his coat. 'Well, gotta go! But it was good bumping into you here! Maybe I will see you again sometime?' 
'I'd like that!' I replied! I got up to give him a hug good bye! 
He was buttoning up his coat. 'Well, til next time then!' 
I gave him a big hug. 
'See ya later Jesus! Was good hanging out today!'

Watching people at Starbucks

The Mum

The other day I spent half the day at Starbucks, just hanging out, reading and of course, people watching. Starbucks, these days, is my favourite place to people watch right after the airport. 
At Starbucks you will find a plethera of different people who all come for the coffee, the atmosphere or just because someone dragged them there. There are different groups of people at Starbucks and I want to introduce you today to the Starbucks Mum. 

THis Mum comes into Starbucks with the newest edition of the luxury stroller, carrying her screaming child into the store. She will find a group of 4 comfy chairs and steer the Mercedes of all strollers past all the other customers with absolutely no mercy for those who dare to sit in the way. 

The child, still screaming, is then put onto a chair and fed some gooey, usually orangeish substance which you will later find in the upholstery of the chair. Unfortunately, the Starbucks Mum thinks that the rest of the world should think, that a) her kid is the cutest and b) is not bothered by the little mess she makes. 

She then orders her coffee while her now happy child crawls through the whole store, trying to explore all there is to it, including bags, jackets and coffee cups. By this time, depending on how close I am sitting near the Mum, I am annoyed. Again, my presence at Starbucks is being used as a free babysitter. In the interest of public 'peace' I didn't ask why she thought that I was a qualified babysitter (since most of my friends would say I am not) or why she had to park the Mercedes stroller in the middle of the store, where there is no room whatsoever and it's pretty much parked in my face... 

The Mum comes back with her iced coffee that she immediately starts to straw feed to her child (yeah, caffeine is gonna get this kid to settle down) and then she sits down and starts a conversations with her child. That wouldn't be so bad, except, she is still under the impression that her child is the cutest and best child in the whole wide world and wants everyone in the store to hear how smart, witty, cute and funny her kid is. So this 'conversation' (she yelling stuff at her child like 'where do you want to go now pumpkin?') contiues at an unbelievably loud level, since the music at Starbucks is still blasting away and the rest of us customers are trying to have a conversation over the noise of the music, general coffee making noise and now the yelling of Starbucks Mum. Starbucks Mum tho, is completely oblivious to any of this. 

Usually Starbucks Mum also travels in packs of at least 2! At best that means that the kids are now playing with each other, rather than with your handbag. At worst it means you know have to fend two children off your stuff. What a joy! 

While I find Starbucks Mum quite annoying and very rude, I also have to admit that I do not have a kid and therefore do not know the difficulties stroller parking brings with it and how tired and annoyed you could be as a Mum. So instead of leaving I just gather my things up on a chair, so that they can't be played with and make a scary face at the kids. That way they are scared of me and I can drink my tall Americano in a grande cup in relative peace... 

Watching people at Starbucks

The Metro Sexual

The other day I was at Starbucks and it was really crowded. Hardly any of the comfy chairs were still available and the line of customers was going out the door. WHen I got my drink I was lucky to find a couple getting up and leaving and I claimed one of four comfy chairs in a row. The two chairs to my right were taken by a couple whispering cheesy lovey dovey things into each others ears and the chair to my left was still open. 

While I was sipping my tall Americano in a grande cup and listening to my ipod, a guy came over to the chair on my left and asked if it was taken. Since it wasn't I told him no and he proceeded to dump his shopping bags on the chair and then ask me if I could watch his stuff for a bit while he goes and gets a coffee. 

Of course I said yes and went back to sipping and listening and every now and then watching his stuff. I was lucky it didn't get stolen and while I was thinking along those lines I also wondered if I would be liable if his stuff got stolen after he had asked me to watch it! I never figured that out.

After a while the guy came back with his coffee and sat down and started texting away on his mobile. He was in his mid twenties, clean cut, very well and very stylish dressed. Someone I would immediately give the stereotype metro sexual. In the States we often play a game with guys like these... It's more like a question: 'Is he gay or is he European?'. Well, being in Europe at the moment, that game is hard to play. 
We were sitting there, sipping away at our coffees when he started to get restless. I was secretly admiring his rather pointy leather shoes. They were brown, with some sort of clever stitching on them and you actually had to tie those. In that moment he leaned forward and grabbed something out of one of his bags and then in the middle of strabucks, proceeded to use it! 

He was really polishing his shoes! 

I was speechless. I could not figure out if he had just bought this high tech shoe polishing thing and couldn't wait to try it out, or if this was pretty normal for him! I decided in the end, that this was probably a normal occasion for him. 

Some people can't wait for home. I will never understand. I continued to sip my coffee and started to read my book. Who wants to watch people clean their shoes?

Watching people at Starbucks

The alternative crowd

They only eat eggs from 'free' chickens and only drink the milk of happy cows. They usually have long hair with absolutely no product in at all and air dried. 
If they really hit it with the stereotype they are vegetarian and wear birkenstocks. The modern stereotype sports a kind of hippy/bohemian style with flowing skirts frolicking about in flower fields. 

They are aware of what's going on in the world fight against all the injustice in it. That ranges from baby whales and environmental issues to abortion, politics, modern slavery and poverty. 

They are disgusted by anything commercial and would rather take out their toe nails one by one, than buy their clothes at H&M. They take the bus, even though they could afford a car. They recycle the tiniest amount of garbage and their home is also home to at least 4 different coloured bins for different kinds of garbage. 

The bands they listen to have never and will never make it on a top 40 radio station's playlist. And if they do, they will stop listening to them out of protest. 

They will sit at starbucks and sip their grande mocha cappuccino in a comfy chair, while listening to their ipod, thinking how they like to be different and how commercialised living is just not for them.

At all.

I silently smile sitting next to them sipping on my tall cafe Americano in a grande cup. Yeah, all commercial stuff is bad... Right! 

Watching people at Starbucks

The YWAMer from a base in the city

The other day at Starbucks I saw her. She was in her early twenties, long brown hair, gorgeous face with bright blue eyes. 

She had claimed one of the big comfy chairs and the little table on her right had 2 cups on it. I realised that one was her pumpkin latte and the other one a cup of water. Of course, always get something for free if you can!

When the staff comes around to mop the floor she will be the person who will at least lift her feet, if not get out of her chair. It seems like she would almost like to take the mop herself! 

She came in hours ago and has been sitting there ever since. Sipping away on her one drink. No way will she buy another one. And no way will she buy something to eat here, since that would really bust her budget. 

For the first hour she just sat there listening to her music on her headphones. Then she picked up her humangeous backpack and pulled out a huge book, leather-bound and black. It seems to be a Bible, but it looks used. As if she actually reads it every now and then. 
She proceeds to read in it, every now and then stopping to underline something in it. She has a wide array of pens in all different colours. 
After a while she pulls another book out of her backpack. This one is a pretty one with black and while decorations all over it. It's full of little photos and notes. She starts writing in it and doesn't stop for hours. It seems like she can write for hours. 
I wonder what she's writing... Poems? Thoughts? Who knows. I will never find out. 

After a while a group of young people comes into the Starbucks. They all seem to know each other. Weird though, that she isn't excited at all to see them. Maybe they all live together in one house and she was trying to get away.

I silently laugh. No way! That can't be it! That would be one big house and people don't do that anymore these days. 
I take another sip of my tall cafe americano in a grande cup and continue to write in my journal!

Watching people at Starbucks

The YWAMer from a base in the country side

'Is this chair taken?' The guy who was wanting to take the comfy chair right next to me to another location looked like he was not allowed to legally drink yet. Young, brown skinned, a weird afro/dreadlocks look with torn khakis and a shirt that told me something about being a frog and happiness. 
I told him that he could have the chair and he dragged it over to a group of about 10 people that couldn't have been any different if you had tried. It was a miracle to me that all of them talked to each other. How did they ever even meet, not to talk about being friends?

They all seemed to be in a general age range from somewhere 18 to maybe 28. Apart from the brown skinned afro guy who seemed to have an accent that reminded me of south America, I also saw one Korean girl who spoke flawless English with an American accent. 
A group of 3 girls were all sitting on one comfy chair talking to each other, each in another accent. One British, one some mixed non identifiable mess and one seemed to have come from Canada. 
One of them I immediately dubbed the nerd, because he had grass stains all over his jeans and his hair hadn't seen scissors in month it seemed. He was talking to another guy who was sporting girl skinny jeans and a tight fitted shirt, styled hair and everything else Emo you could imagine. 

All of them seemed to have come from some major shopping day, because there were grocery bags all around them. But a closer look revealed that almost all bags held what anybody in the real world would call munchies food. Chocolate, sugar cereals, cokes, popcorn. 

This surely was a peculiar bunch of people and I was intrigued. Where did they come from? This was a rather small town and I had never seen these people before. But even tho they sounded like tourists, they didn't behave in the normal tourist ways and seemed to know their way around. Although in the short time I watched them they certainly took about 100 photos on digital cameras. Any Japanese tourist would have been proud of them. 

Not all of them had a drink and certainly none of them had a piece of cake or a cookie in front of them. Students maybe? But did the local university really have 10 exchange students from all over the world? And why are they all hanging out together? 
And even more intriguing was the fact that none of them seemed to be romantically involved. When you have a group of young people come together these days you always have some sort of couple who's slobbering away at each other in the middle of starbucks... But that's another story. 

So who are these people? Before I could watch them even more I saw a huge yellow thing out of the corner of my eye drive up right in front of the window. One of the guys in the group saw the bus and they all grabbed their shopping bags and ran out the door. One of the more alternative girls was leaving last, because she just couldn't leave the mess on the table and cleaned up all their cups and straws and sticks and threw them away before she also climbed on the bus and drive away. 

Sipping my tall cafe Americano in a grande cup I wonder if I will ever see them again and who the heck they were. But that's none of my business and so I get back to writing in my journal.