Heilig Abend aka Christmas Eve

When I was growing up Christmas for me was always Christmas Eve. Christmas Day (and Boxing Day) were just days off to play with your toys you just got.

But Christmas Eve was THE day. We would get up in the morning, decorate the Christmas tree, listen to Christmas music, split off and wrap presents and then in the afternoon or early evening we would go to church.

There were 2 churches we could go to... The more modern, but small one with heating! (You were at least warm, but if you didn't come an hour before, you'd have to stand!) Or the 800 year old church: more seats, but NO heat. So I still associate church at Christmas with sitting in a freezing cold old building.

After church we'd go home and have dinner. Something easy, since my Mum is a firm believer in hanging out with the family instead of with the pots and pans. So sometimes we just had potato salad and bratwurst. But that's Christmas.

After dinner we'd wash up and then all go upstairs. Except for Mum, but I never questioned that. It was amazing to have some Dad time. He would totally play with us some crazy games.

And then the bell sounded. Our cue to come downstairs. So we'd grab the presents we had for the parents and siblings and ran down. The door opened and we would see the Christmas tree lit up for the first time (with real candles... It's not just that I'm old. Nowadays I still know a lot of people who put real candles on their tree for Christmas Eve. And lights for the rest of the time)

There was a little pile of presents for each one of us (we weren't into huge piles) and we would wish each other Merry Christmas and then open our presents. It was quite the magical time. :)

Let's fast forward to now... I've had quite a few Christmases without my family and that's fine. It's a choice I made. Oh, and let's face it... In my little story there I left out all the frustrations and tears that happened as well.. Family is no picnic and you know it.

Anyway, to this day Christmas Eve can be a little shaky for me. There might or might not have been some times when I ended up being a blabbering mess on Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve I like having people around, eating together and having a good time. It helps keep me sane and happy. And it's fun as well.

So now I celebrate Christmas Eve with church and then food and friends. It works amazingly well for me and I have these great friends who invite me over to their family Christmas Eve dinner (me being the only one who's not related to anyone) and they even let me come late and un-showered from a gig and they feed me.

I get to sit there and enjoy all the good things about families and have a smile about the not so fun things in families (believe me, the not so fun things in family can make for pretty good entertainment when you're not related!)

Well, that is my Christmas Eve. How do you celebrate?

If you know me and like me...

Last week I was hanging out with a couple friends and some dude walked in. Now, I knew that dude and had spent some time together with that dude. Which meant I knew that he's really fun to hang out with, but that's about it. 

After said dude left both my friends got all weird and talked about 'sparks flying' and that 'he likes me'. 

I was ready to rip their heads off! (for realz)

I guess I get it! These friends are super happy with their significant others and want that same deal for me. 

BUT....

Just because some dude in the right age group walks in who appears to be single is NO reason to go all gaga over this.

And I am serious in this matter. 

I LOVE JESUS! And I don't want to be together with a dud who doesn't. So the next time you're around me and some dude walks in, would you PLEASE ask the most important question:

Does he like Jesus? Will that dude lead you closer to Jesus? 

And if I go 'Uhm, yeah, well... I think so' please do something! Because that is a crappy response. And I probably know deep inside that he's a dud. So do something! Get me out of there! 

And please know that I am actually happy in my current state of being. I'm totally ok with it. Jesus and me have talked about this. Extensively. We are cool! 

Thanks! Now keep being an awesome friend. 

Men's prison... For the first time.

In September 2011 I joined God Behind Bars with the plan to reach youth for God. It's a very general plan, but since I had never worked in prisons before it was probably a good thing it was so general.

We are talking youth in prison or youth who have a parent in prison and need a little help staying out (statistically they are 84% more likely to end up in 'the system' themselves)

So I worked towards that goal:
* Once a month I joined another group that already goes into a youth prison
* Once a week I go to a youth court and offer services as a mentor for youth that is in trouble.
* And once a week I share the God Behind Bars youth version at the jail, hanging with 16 and 17 year old's

Those youths in the jail are being treated as adults before the law and some of them will be sentenced to prison.

Since the beginning of December now I am able to 'follow' these youths to prison and continue to share with them about Jesus! It's one of the most exciting things ever!

In jail they have nothing to do and are quite happy to come to my program. But in prison this 'church thing' is part of their free time. And so far I still had more than half the unit show up to our program every week!

Would you pray with me...?

* Some of the youths in jail and also in prison are only there for a short time. I keep on telling them to find me at church, but they are unsure of church and other Christians. Pray that they come and we can help them on the outside.

* Some of them want to help their families. But they have some really crappy ideas that will get them right back into jail. Pray that they can find a legal job!

* The most repeated question I get is 'Can Jesus fix murder'. And while I have the best answer ever, it takes a while for that truth to settle. Pray for them to find Christ and be radically changed on the inside

* And a prayer request for myself: I need lots of prayer, clarity and strength! I love what I do, but you can never relax when you're inside. Also, a practical request: The prison is outside town and adds 100 miles weekly. That's a bunch more on my car, but also my gas money budget. Pray that God would provide for me!! :)

It's not your fault...

It's not your fault. 

But it is your problem. 

Let me explain:
You are booked on a flight. The flight gets cancelled due to mechanical issues with the plane.

It's not your fault. But it's still your problem. 

Now translate that into the life of an 'average' student here in Las Vegas. Let's just look at ONE aspect of their life. Are you ready?

Parents are split up. 

What's the big deal? Well, let's look at that situation (which is NOT AT ALL their fault, and yet it is still their problem.

These students often have to deal with moving twice every week to a different house and neighborhood.  

They have to deal with 2 completely different set of rules in each house. Most likely one is more relaxed than the other. 

They also have to pretend that these aspects of their lives are fine. If they don't, they run the chance of losing whatever contact they had with one parent.  

They have to deal with the fact that most likely the parents are not able to hide their anger and disgust with each other well. 

I reckon that these students have to deal with a lot. And yet, none of this is actually their fault. 

So it comes with no surprise to me that some students are not that good at dealing with all those issues.

While we can't fix all the problems in the world, we could do well in helping students understand that there are things in their lives that are not their fault and then help them navigate through their problems.

It just means we are there for them. 

We do life together. 

We encourage them when things are hard 

and cheer for them when things go well. 

In the words of a famous show manufacturer: Just do it!

Inspired

I am blown away by people who care for and love students. 

There are those that care for and love students by volunteering their time (energy) at youth groups, Boys and Girls Clubs and all kinds of things. These people are amazing. They want to hang out; pass on and just give to students who are still in the process of navigating life. 

Then there are those that care for and love students by *volunteering* their entire life. That's called Foster Care these days. I know a bunch of people who do this and it takes a lot of commitment. It's about finding the balance between being a parent (that you're not) and being a friend (that you shouldn't be). 

Can you see the potential awesomeness if you mix and match the two? Can you see that ALL students would benefit from having some kind of non parental mentor person in their life. Not a friend and not a parent. 

And every student would benefit from living in a stable environment with loving guidelines and disciplines and some sort of structure. 

It's not that one is better than another. It's about actually doing it! Just taking the time and caring for someone who hasn't yet learned how to ask for help. 

In the end it's all about giving back in the area that you're most passionate about. It's always about giving back...

And yes, I totally googled awkward family photos. :)

Conversations in Jail...

I haven't blogged in a while.

But of course I've been around my juvies. Remember them? Yep, some of them are still on the inside. And since the last time you heard from me we also had some new additions.

Over the last few weeks this is what's been going on:

One of them keeps on complaining that he feels bad now when he does something wrong. He's never had that before and it bugs him. (I tried to explain to him that this is one of the first ways that God speaks to us. He's still chewing on that)

Most of them have a hard time understanding that God really cares and loves them. They've been bad for so long that they truly believe that there is no hope for them. This is one of the saddest statements I have ever heard.

We talk a lot about church and if they would ever fit in. Most of them think that they will stick out like a sore thumb at church and every one will look at them. They are concerned about what to wear and if they can actually wear their usual attire (some of which would be associated with gang colors). 

These conversations help me understand how hard it is for someone to come to church and this also helps me to be aware of how much I judge at times. How cool would the world be, if these kids would just have to deal with their own insecurities about coming to church, rather than having to deal with the very real reality that people at church are going to judge them. 

(We don't like to admit that, but let's be real here: We all do!)

They have major questions about faith, God, Jesus, the Bible and dinosaurs. More questions than I will ever be able to answer. So I am talking with some friends who will help answer some of these. Even though I am not the right person to address most of these questions, it fires me up, that they have these questions in the first place. Stuff is moving along. 

Sometimes you hear stuff you don't want to hear. Like when they have court and feel like cussing out the judge was actually a good idea. Or when they feel like the whole world is against them just because of the color of their skin. Or when you meet one of the guys... AGAIN. (after he had been released). 

My prayer: 

I'm asking God to continue to show 

His love and His grace to these kids. 

I am praying for their unit to be known 

for kindness and respect in the whole prison. 

Please join me in that prayer. And if you know stuff about the dinosaurs and God, please let me know! :)

Pumped up kicks - dubstep video (sick!!)

Voice mail to Text - not quite there yet!

When I left a VM for my friend LINDSEY (not Lenny) the other day, here are some excerpts of what she received as a text. My comments are in big!

Hello hi lenny (it's LINDSEY!)

 @#$% hello happy for you (I DID NOT SWEAR!!) 

...black oh my gosh that's like wow (I sound like a 13 year old girl here)... of course I also miss ... little skin you know when you guys do and I just need you announcement of my it's ready and dave anywhere (say whaaaat? I don't even know what I'm talking about!)

 tomorrow hi my name is in ... (new name coming, apparently! Surprise, surprise!)

 time for you because I really it's ricky ... that is absolutely amazing ... sorry I'm cool yang ... noel but it's it's like wow . (I am definitely cool 'yang')

 rock up there with the top (I said TUB! stupid thing can't get the accent right!)

(Oh, this following bit certainly sounds like me...) you should pick like it was amazing and I not the person you probably still remember that I'm not the person I can pick up right virtual after here or anything I usually have people ... (WHAAAAT?)

I might have actually picked up like a little bit of but wow  (I think I certainly picked up a little bit of WOW) something I've changed out but you and was amazing I'm just charging talking about they just told us 92 get take about 1040 right he it's you know it's that I made that 

Yeah, this made sense! Not sure how I even chose Voice Mail to text. But THIS text made their night! I think they might have even peed their pants a little reading this out loud. No wonder... I apparently swore at them in the greeting! :)

Why it sucks to be a single girl in this modern world

I'm a girl. I'm single. And I'm a leader. 

And those 3 things combined are frustrating. 

I want to learn; I want to be mentored, discipled and led to places that I have not been before, so that I can lead others there.

What's your big deal you ask? Well... I'm a single girl and a leader and I'm in the Christian world. 

I'm very much surrounded by great leaders. Some of them are women and some of them are men. The problem for me is, that a lot of the leaders who are where I would like to be, are men.

Men in the Christian world have set up boundaries. They are there for their safety and the safety of their families (and those boundaries SHOULD be in place).

But those boundaries also mean that men won't spend any one-on-one time with me. I will not ever be invited to go along on a business trip to get mentored and even going to a conference is hard, unless there's more than one girl going.

Those boundaries are important for the leader who set them up, but they don't really serve me. (and they are not designed to!)

And of course the boundaries are also there, because someone of my gender has messed up before and now even driving in a car together can look sketchy.

All good reasons, but I can't stop feeling like 

I'm getting punished for something I didn't do!

And please understand that I don't want the boundaries removed! I'm a big fan of boundaries, marriages and kids growing up in one house with 2 parents. I don't want to EVER jeopardize that.

But I want to start a conversation and see if others have run into this. And how did you solve it? (I'm interested to hear from everyone, but especially from single women in leadership... It can't be, that the solution to this would be marriage!)

Oh, but what about getting mentored and discipled by women leaders, you say? Well, what a quaint idea... That would be splendid. But a lot of women leaders in my world are leading... Well, women specific stuff.

There are women in leadership who help women through marriage and family stuff. Or women who are struggling to find their own identity, because their husband is some big wig leader.

I just don't have (those kind) of identity issues. I just want to know how to lead a group of people (guys and girls), how to run an organisation, how to be more strategic and how to network. 

There's no real solution to this problem. But it's surprising how in this modern world, where people pretend that guys and girls are equal, I find myself stuck. That whole equality stuff is a bunch of bogus it seems. 

What am I going to do? I think I will look outside of my Christian world to see if I can find women leaders who are already doing what I want to do. And I will somehow try to creep make a way into their world and figure things out.

And yes, I will continue to read books, listen to podcasts and hang out as much as I can - without jeopardizing anyone's family - with people that inspire me to be a better leader.

Have you run into any of those problems before? And what were your solutions? And do you know any single women in leadership that I should try and connect with?

Oh, and if anybody has connections with Angela Merkel, let me know! That would be a fascinating conversation. :)

Conversation in Jail: Poof and gone...

A while ago I walked into my usual Juvie session and noticed that 2 of my regulars were not there. So I asked where they were, kind of expecting an answer about them being in trouble and not allowed to come.

The answer I got though was different: 'They had their sentencing and have been sent to prison.'

That statement still rocks my world. And don't get me wrong, I am NOT questioning the justice of it all. I can not ever do that, especially since I don't know what these guys have done. The only thing I know is, that they have been bad. Some of them VERY bad.

I just have seen glimpses of awesomeness in these guys. Glimpses of just scared 16 or 17 year old guys. And I know a little bit of what a maximum or medium security prison is all about. And it scares me to know that these 2 guys are now in prison.

There was so much more I could have and should have told them about Jesus. But I didn't get the chance to do that. I didn't even get a chance to say good bye.

It makes me sad, but I know the God I serve: The God who can fix murder! And I can trust that He is still with the guys in prison now.

In John 17:4 Jesus says that 'He completed the work you (God) gave me to do.' It's an extraordinary statement considering that there were still sick people and still many people who hadn't met him. Yet He says that He COMPLETED the work. But it's about the work that God GAVE him.
So my hope is that I have completed the work in 'my' 2 juvies and that God will send someone else to continue the work that has started. He's cool like that!

Another lesson in trusting God. When have you needed to trust God with people you loved?

Journey vs Trip. Some deep and meaningful stuff here!

The other days I heard an interview with a well-known Christian speaker and in the course of about 5 minutes he used the word 'journey' about 6 times. Talk about overusing a word.

And it dawned on me that in this time 'journey is the new 'in' word for Christian leaders. If you listen to a bunch of Christian leaders you will find that they never go on a trip - they start a journey.

Of course I tweeted that, because it was too obvious and too funny not to. But then I thought that maybe, just maybe, these Christian leaders use the word 'journey' for a reason. Because one hopes that leaders are not just following other leaders blindly in saying and doing stuff just because it sounds 'good' or is the 'in' thing to do. One hopes that leaders influence the people and the culture around them, rather than being influenced by the people and the culture themselves.
So I looked up the words 'journey' and 'trip'.

And as it turns out, those Christian leaders are actually on to something: While a trip is mereley going to a place and returning, a journey is an act of traveling from one place to another.

Well, who knew? (A bunch of Christian leaders obviously...) So of course it makes sense that Christian leaders (and the rest of us God fearing folks) are going on journeys. Because who wants to return to where they started?

And it also makes sense that a 'trip' is often used to describe a drug experience, because once you go on a trip, you get back and you're at exactly the same place where you started. Nothing has changed and you will have to go on a 'trip' again to escape your circumstances. A trips is just an escape of circumstances, rather than a real change in life.

A journey on the other hand takes you into a new environment, a new place. And a journey also suggests that you're not going back - you have left for good.
A journey doesn't automatically mean you're going to love every place you go to. Some of those places are going to be hard and you won't like them. But they are necessary stops on the way and soon enough you will be on your way again. You are not stuck.

This is a very interesting concept to me! You go Christian Leaders! Good on ya for understanding the difference between a trip and a journey! Now if we could only work on not making it sound so cheesy..........

Conversation in Jail - Can Jesus fix murder?

I wish you could meet my juvies and see the things I see.

A couple weeks ago this happened:

'Miss, can Jesus fix murder?'

I was blown away by this question because it was so raw and honest. So much depended on the answer. There was so much fear in it. So many 'what if's'. It was one of the best questions I've ever been asked.

I love that I serve a God who said 'YES' to all of our sin.

What happened next was that I explained again what Jesus has done for us and how it is available to us. And then I saw it...

I saw the guy who had asked the question out of the blue quietly close his eyes and murmur a prayer. He accepted Christ that day.

Thank you Lord for saying YES to us.

Write a parable ... I dare you!

I've been reading through Mark 4 lately and have been quite inspired by the different parables Jesus was speaking about. I mean, that guy was good at relating the point he wanted to make to where his audience was at.

So I thought, I should try and rewrite some of these parables to make the same point as Jesus, but to make me understand it better and write as if I am talking to someone right now. Here.

So here you go. This is my updated version of the parable of the sower in Mark 4.

The kingdom of God is like recording a song and putting it on itunes for sale. Many people will look at it and then move right on because they’ve never heard of the artist before.
Then there are those who click on it and listen to the preview of the song. They think it’s ok, but not good enough to spend $1.29 on it.
Then some other people will listen to the song and download it. But then something else catches their attention and the song gets buried on their ipod and is maybe played twice in the year.
Still others buy the song, put it on their ipod and play it repeatedly. They don’t just know the words to that song, but have fallen in love with the artist as well. 

What do you think?

And I would LOVE to read your parables as well! Pick one, write one, send one. (jackiegotmail (at) gmail (dot) com)

the truth about camp or how awesome is cottage cheese?

I went to camp:

• My feet smelled BAD once released from the confines of the sneakers.  
• I ate cottage cheese. every. single. day. 
• I met a bunch of new people (80% of them were junior high age. Seeing as this was a junior high camp with 450+ junior high students, this is ok!)
• I waved my amazing YELLOW blow up 'foam' finger.... (and consequently lost it. Note to self: Do not lend foam fingers to junior high boys)
• I had a mohawk for 'mohawk day'. 
• I spent half a day on the ground waiting for someone to rescue me, because someone had the great idea to have 'attack day' where everybody shoots (pretend) blow darts at you and I just plain out suck at that game and got hit a lot.
• I got wet while kayaking, coz I didn't want to sit in the back. Instead I sat in the middle and almost SUNK the freaking boat. Not a boost for self esteem, but funny nevertheless. 
• I slept in a cabin and was surrounded by lots of dirt, rocks and trees. Some would call it beautiful. I call it nature. 
• I was part of the yellow team. We didn't win. 

It sounds ok, doesn't it? Not great (apart from the cottage cheese) but just ok...

But then you add the God factor. The God factor happens when you present these 450+ junior high students with truth.
The truth about self esteem and what they might see in the mirror (ugly, fat, etc) and how God sees them (beautiful, created with love).
The truth about not having to do everything on your own. Giving up the struggle and trusting God to take it. Surrendering things like drug use or addiction, family problems, peer pressure, alcoholism and more completely to God. (yes, those are all real problems junior high kids struggle with. I suggest you start talking with your kid!)
And the truth about community. The answer to the question of what comes after camp? What happens when I fall back? What happens when I get abused again? 

When you add the God factor to camp it takes camp from ok to mind blowingly great. It makes cottage cheese fade into the background and helps me see the students for who they are. And it gives me hope for this next generation. They can change the world. They will tell others about Jesus. As long as I will tell them! 

Violence in Jail

So it finally happened.
An outburst of violence in the jail while I was there. It had to happen once. Now it did.
It wasn't directed at me or even any other person. The door took a beating. But if the officer wouldn't have responded so quickly it could have been 'someone' instead of the door.

I realised during my lesson that something was up. 3 of my juvies were VERY distracted. And once they were dismissed and on their way to the room they started to 'sort it out'.

Honestly? It was a bit scary. Not because I was in any danger (I wasn't). But because it showed me what these guys are capable of and it reminds me why they are in there.

Has anything changed? No. I still love hanging with them and know I am safe as long as I abide by the rules of the facility. This was just a good reminder.

Conversations in Jail - Jesus

How do I help my juvies understand how much Jesus loves them?
How do I make them understand how blessed I feel because I can spend time with them every week?

Their understanding of Jesus and Faith is basic at best. 3 months ago one of the worship songs had the word 'Hosanna' in it and they asked 'Miss, who's Hosanna?'

Every time I tell them that I KNOW people who would want to spend time with them and help them be successful they say 'Miss, who would want to spend time with us? We are criminals?'

There are so many things that make it hard to talk about Jesus. (One is, that they keep on calling me 'Miss')

But every few weeks I lay it out there. Every few weeks it's not about living a different life, but it's about the person who gives us life.

This was one of the weeks.

We talked about sin and how ALL sin separates us from God. No matter how big or small. In that way sin is sin and we are all the same before God.
We talked about the difference of consequence for some sins. Stealing a car and running a red light are a little different in consequences.
Then we talked about how God says that there is not one righteous person.

This was to lay the ground work. To help them understand that ALL sin separates us from God.

Then I moved on to what God has done for us. How He sent Jesus for 'WHOEVER'. I talked about who a whoever is.
We talked about what love is and that God loved us first. And how He's not insecure, so that if you don't love Him right now, He's not gonna sit in a corner and cry. But He's still gonna love you.

And then we talked about the 'now what?'. The fact that God wants to change their lives NOW and not when they get out. That is the hardest thing for me to explain and for them to get. I don't speak from experience here, but I know that they can do it!

They CAN do the hard things instead of just coasting (not swearing for a day!)
They CAN be an example in speech, in conduct, in faith in purity.. (1. Timothy 4:12).

You know what was weird? Usually during my talks (they are a bit of a hybrid between a talk and a small group) there are lots of interruptions. Comments, tangents, jokes.... There are a lot of things going on and often I have a hard time keeping their attentions.

But when I did this talk the room was eerily quiet. They all seemed to listen. There was no joking, no questions, no tangents. They just listened. They looked at me and listened.

And suddenly I had that hope again. The hope that God HAS a future and a hope for them. And that it's good. The hope that I will see some of them on the outside and see them succeed. Hope that I am not alone in this. But God is always right there.

I needed that.

Conversations in jail - Dads

This was not a conversation, but more an observation of the atmosphere...

When I go in to talk with my juvies I show them a DVD of the service from Central Christian Church. I only show them the worship, and then do a hybrid of a talk and small group myself afterwards, going along with whatever series is going on in our Junior High and High School environments at church.

But the worship is on DVD. Even though worship is definitely not their preferred style of music, they actually manage to sit through it quietly and every now and then I can even hear them 'sing' a word of two.

This time the worship included a description of how the worship leader spends time with his daughter before going to bed. They hang out and sing a few songs together in her room. Quite a special moment for both of them.

During this story everybody in the room got quiet. (There's usually some chatter going on). And I realised that this story struck a chord with them.

I don't know their stories, their families or what they've done. But I think I know enough to suspect that many of them did not have a Dad like that in their life. A dad who would have a special place and a special moment with them when they were little.

Or even when they were older.

The 'special' moments they've had were with their older brothers when they got introduced to gang members and were allowed to do little errands to earn trust.

Of course not every Dad has the time to do what that worship leader was talking about. But I think every Dad should make time to have that special moment or special activity together.

The special moments I remember with my Dad were at Christmas. My Mum prepared everything downstairs and Dad played with me and my brother upstairs, until Mum was ready.
Or the times during summer when my Dad, my brother and me played soccer after dinner.

My Dad wasn't able to do something every day. But he did stuff with us that only he could do (love my Mum, but she can't kick a ball for the life of her!)

So my prayer for my juvies is that God would help them to see Him. And that they would be able to have a special moment or a special activity with God. I've learned that God sometimes uses our parents to care for us, sometimes He uses other people and sometimes He just does it himself.

Since my juvies are kind of restricted by their location and the rules of their location I pray that God would do it Himself! :)

Conversations in jail - fights

Sometimes I ask my juvies questions and I am blown away by the honesty of their answer....

The latest one went like that:

Me: You guys like to see girls fight???
Them: Yes! It's HOT.
Me: REALLY?? You think that's attractive? As in, you would LIKE to go out with a girl who is not afraid to fight another girl???
Them: Heck yes!
Me: ..... 

Of course I had heard that before that guys think that. But it was more like a rumor to me. But to hear it from a bunch of guys (they ALL agreed) and to hear them talk about it so excitedly was kind of shocking to me.

The day before I was at a BBQ and was mucking around with one of the Junior High Boys. He took it one step further and proceeded to start hitting me with his bandana (like the kitchen towel fights). About 2.5 seconds after he started I heard one of the leaders tell him to stop. Reason? Because you don't hit ladies!

You might smile at that, but I was so thankful that someone was looking out for me. (Of course I could have taken on this 6th grade boy... But anybody could have! That is not the point!)
And I was super thankful that there is still this value of treating girls like girls.

Looking at my juvies I wish someone would have been there for them to tell them not to hit girl, not to hurt others, to respect life and even to be able to walk away and still have dignity.

I wish someone would have told them that their identity is not rooted in how many people they hurt or how many guns they have. But that their identity SHOULD be rooted in who they are in Christ. And that there are people around them who want to help them find that.

Like that leader who over the next 3 years will pour his life into that 6th grade boy to help him become a man. A man who will respect girls and who will pick girls that respect others as well.

One day your 6th grade boy or girl might be play fighting with a bandana. But if no one helps them to understand some boundaries I might get to hang out with them at jail. And I don't want that.

Conversations in jail - Names

My Juvies... I wish you could all meet them! They are incredible to me, make me smile, laugh and feel like I know a little better how God feels when we 'don't get it'.

I've told you before that I've been trying to learn names and that these guys sometimes give me their street names, rather than anything their parents may know them by. 

For me, it's ok to call them whatever they tell me I should call them as long as a) it's not offensive and b) they listen when I say 'their name'. 

The breakthrough came a few weeks back when some of them gave me their real name. That's a big deal for them. 

Names are powerful. We see that already in the Bible where names hold a certain meaning about the life of the individual. 

Names give us identity and therefore these guys like their street names. It's their identity. It's what they are known by, by their friends and also by their enemies. If they know how to handle themselves in tricky situations, then their street name carries importance and makes them feared by others. 

And that is also why giving me their real name is a sign of trust. And it makes me excited every time it happens. 

Today it didn't happen. I tried to learn all their names again and couldn't for the life of me remember the name of one of the guys. So they started 'helping' me. 

In the end, he 'suggested' to be called 'smurf' (They all wear blue!). I warned him that that's what I will call him unless he tells me his name (street name or real thing) and he decided smurf was ok with him. 

So I called him 'Smurf' the whole lesson long. And I grew quite fond of calling him that. And I think he did too! This might be the first 'cute' street name ever. 

I hope he keeps it! 

Good night Smurf! Hope you know how much Jesus Loves you! 

Loving what I do - my most recent newsletter

Right now I am sitting here, waiting for the other members of God Behind Bars to arrive to the meeting. I thought you might want to ‘meet’ them: 

John, Dave, Jake, Don, Bob and Me! (left to right)

We will have a ‘same page meeting’. We started these a couple months ago once we realized that sometimes there’s so much going on that nobody knows anymore what’s going on, except for Jake (CEO, founder and my boss).

So now we come together twice a month and get to hear what the others have been up to.

There’s John who’s working on creating jobs for released inmates, starting with a recycled dry-clean hanger scheme. But of course there’s more to that. We are also starting a thrift store (to employ inmates) which will have more the look and feel of a target.

Dave gives us updates on what’s happening in the area of resource development (read: fundraising to start more campuses)

Don is an amazing man who’s been in prison ministry for over 30 years. He helps us in any way imaginable, but especially dealing with the Department of Correction (which can be a challenge)

Bob has his finger on various grant applications that are in to get our Media Arts Studio INSIDE the prison some new equipment. (We are teaching inmates graphic art, video editing, life skills etc)

I will talk about stuff that’s going on with the youth, how I am going once a week into the jail and hang out with ‘my’ juvies. How we need funds to start another campus at ‘Caliente’. And how we are starting to really be ready to help youth that gets released on the outside.

And then Jake will talk about everything else. And there’s still a lot. The After Care facility that’s about to open on the church property. The classes we will teach there (parenting, finances and career development to start with—I’m helping write the content).

The set free campaign that’s running right now (more info at Godbehindbars.com) and the push to reunite inmates with families by inviting the family to watch the same service online at churchwithinmates.com.

So there you go! You just met just a few of the awesome people I get to work with. And heard a few of the things we are working on. At the moment I still get to be involved in many other areas of God Behind Bars, until the youth program will take off like CRAZY! :)

It’s frustrating at times that I can’t take pictures anymore of the people I minister to. (Big No No to bring a camera or cell phone into the prison! :) )

 

I wish I could show you ALL the things I get to do. But instead all I can do for now is just to say ‘Thanks Heaps!’. I am so blessed to be serving God in this area, so blessed to have you as friend and supporter of what I do. Thanks for making it possible for me to get up in the morning pumped and excited for what’s going to happen during the day.

You rock my life!

Oh, and that’s a picture of one of the prisons :)

Oh, and read some of these stories from some of 'our' inmates and the impact God Behind Bars has had on their lives:

Just a couple stories from inmates: One inmate, recently arrested and had lost everything, planned to commit suicide the day that her bunk mate invited her to a God Behind Bars service. She went, met God, felt loved and is ALIVE today, sharing her love of Christ with others around her.
 One inmate, that had gone through Celebrate Recovery (faith based recovery from hurts habits and hang-ups) and we had worked with in the Media Art Studio was able to land a job once she was released with the STATE! She helps others find work now! Loves God, is part of a church and reunited with her family!
 God Behind Bars was instrumental in changing another inmate’s life who was in and out of jail, but finally realized that there are people who love her and want to help her. She also is doing well on the outside.
 You can go to GodBehindBars.com to watch a video or two where they tell their own story.
 Tweets: Going to Germany for 10 days to attend my nieces confirmation and birthday! So excited.
 Prayer for ‘my’ juvies is appreciated as they’re starting to grasp the concept of God and His love for them. If you’re in Vegas, want to give me any of your dry clean hangers? :)
 Don’t forget to check out GodBehindBars.com 

Like a boss

Last week in small group we talked about reducing stress... And one of the 'stressful' things in my life right now is a trip I'm planning. 

Let me explain.... 

I am not from the US. I'm from Germany. I grew up in Germany in a lovely house in the middle of nowhere. (In the picture the house doesn't looks so 'lovely' coz it's over 110 years old and for the past 6 years nobody has lived in it. The new owners are in the middle of giving some much needed TLC)

About 6 years ago my Dad died and my Mum moved to her old house. And since I don't have warm and fuzzies toward my Mum's place (nor actually to my old house) I am now indeed 'homeless' when I go home. And that in a way adds stress.

So now I have to organise places to stay and people to see like it's a business trip. On top of that comes that I've lived in the States for quite a while and sometimes have a hard time figuring out what is American and what is German. 

One of the best examples is restaurants. Here in the States you see this:

             

 And everybody waits to be seated. Coz that's what you do! 

In Germany you're expected to find your own seat. And everyone does. It's NOT THAT HARD. But sometimes I forget which system works in which country.

So what's the deal? There's not much of a deal. It's just a fact. I know that for me to tell people about stuff from Germany here in the States means explaining it as well. And it ends up being a loooong story that no one wants to hear. 

(My friends for example have a very hard time understanding why a 'Bring Your Own Meet BBQ' is a really weird concept in the States.)

So you see, going 'home' for me is stressful. I have to organise places to stay, people to see, transport and a lot of other things. I have to mentally brace myself for the ridiculously bad customer service I will get and yet I will enjoy paying the price that is posted on the product - in the supermarket or in the restaurant, it won't matter! I can't wait for mettbroetchen (ground beef/pork on a buttered roll) and spaghetti ice cream (it only looks like spaghetti!). I will use the public transport and miss air conditioning, and I will bring my own meat to my friends BBQ (and it's gonna be sausage!) 

I'm gonna rock this trip like the boss I am! And thus I will finish this rather lengthy blog post about how small group helped me reduce stress by organising a trip like a boss