I had long lost all enthusiasm to go and encounter those people. There was a day not long ago when I sat there and realized that there's nothing in common between me and those people. Nothing! So that little fact quenched all excitement in me to actually get up and get going.
There were questions in me about the validity of their concerns and their ambitions. I didn't know and couldn't figure out when or even if they were lying to me. The whole situation was complicated...
Only he knew.
I heard the door go and realized he had come in.
'You know, you will have to go eventually.'
'I know... Just a couple more minutes.'
We sat in silence. I loved those moments. Knowing that he was there, knowing that, even though he knew everything about me, he still liked me and liked being around me.
He put his hand on my shoulder and I started crying. Crying about my own lack of enthusiasm, about those people and where they were at and crying, because there was still so much hurt and nobody around me understood me. Or that's how it felt
But having him there helped me to calm down, take some time and breathe. Like right now... When I just wasn't quite ready to face the world.
He was going to be there for me, so it was safe to get up and go. I looked up and saw him smile at me! Sometimes those moments were all that got me through the day these days. I suppose that's a good thing.
'Ready?', he asked.
I grinned back! 'Jesus! I was born ready... You know that!'
He laughed, gave me a nuggie and we finally got going.
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