It's all in the stars
Aries:
Please mind the gap! Do not cross the street unless it is green and attempt to take on the pose of the little man on the traffic light! Reboot your computer. After November you will have wind coming at your from the front.
Taurus:
Always eat your green vegetable first and go to the back of the bus. if you see a red light, turn around and jump. Why not sit in your freshly tiled toilet in your jogging suit and watch some Harry Potter.
Gemini:
Put your left hand in first to mix it up! But careful: don't forget to shake it all around! Clean your shoes. The moon will set at precisely 13:23. On December 24 you will not find a parking space and will get lost in the mall!
Cancer:
Your checkered socks will be the hit among the 70 year old's! Don't take a hot bath in July and always use conditioner. Your lucky day is Monday. But careful, don't ever sing the in the shower! Do not iron your clothes while you're wearing them.
Leo:
Pull the plug before you take the TV apart. clean your shoes when you enter a house. Never eat food with your left hand. Your lucky month: January. Although it is almost over by now, so hopefully you enjoyed your luck a bit!
Virgo:
Careful, the train is approaching. From September onwards you will not be able to get a seat in the bus. Take the bike instead and work from home. Your team will not get better, even if you buy another jersey. Avoid chaining your alligator to a fire hydrant.
Libra:
Gosh, you again! Just freaking do what others tell ya!
Scorpio:
Your doctor will lose some hair in October. Avoid chickens. Your plants will be homesick, your cat has an attitude. Don't cross the street without looking to left first! After the 18th poop of the year you will get used to it.
Sagittarius:
Your sick desire to wear dotted shoes will finally pay off. Your boss will like you more, you will learn to love pink and listen to classical music. You will not be able to finish the last email. Don't start new things.
Capricorn:
Don't throw stuff away. Why not starting to collect bottle caps or apple skin? Definitely keep calm. Always go to the back of the bus! The view out of your house will not get better til April.
Aquarius:
It's soon gonna be time. Turn off the lights when you leave the room. Don't be alarmed when you see a mouse. Grab a pillow and put it on your head. count your toes, shower warm and eat some sushi! using elephants for plowing your cotton fields will not raise the harvest.
Pisces:
the 100th repeat of the friends season 10 finale will burn itself into your brain. Be open and sing the song. Don't go out too late, it's gonna be dark soon. When you don't lock your door it will be open. Careful: the back tires of your car are turning.
And now: feet up and another round of SuDoKu.
